well honey, you missed auburn big time

I just want to get dicked down again =/

Shitty things about being isekaied #34; every time I use the restroom I automatically reach for my phone I left in my jacket pocket back on earth, and my hand goes exactly where I keep my knives on my belt, so I always walk out of the john with a fresh hand wound

Shitty things about being isekaied #49: dog came with me but the magic field uplifted her into an anime girl and I'm realizing our personalities just don't click (plus her sitting on my lap is weird now)

Shitty things about being isekaied #64: the town blacksmith is an elf named Gay Simpson and I couldnt explain why that made me laugh and now she won't fix my weapons anymore

Shitty things about being isekaied #75: my degree in russian lit is useless now

Shitty things about being isekaied #83: the four dark lords of this world look almost identical to abba which cant be intentional but when they line up on horseback its so uncanny i cant help but wonder if someones fucking with me

Shitty things about being isekaied #94: they dont make my meds here and health potions dont do shit for bipolar

Shitty things about being isekaied #102: finally met another earthling but hes like half my age so we dont have anything in common. somewhere along the line he got turned into a musclebound wolfman and every time i ask about it he gets super smug and refuses to tell me how it happened

“Lol” hasn’t meant “laughing out loud” in like 15 years… it’s just a word now and more importantly it’s the perfect way to end a sentence lol

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

hey kitten. can you come downstairs real quick daddy has some news. okay so there’s no easy way to say this but daddy’s really struggling financially. yeah no kitten we won’t be able to pay the bills next month. but. okay kitten have you ever heard of one direction.

Percy Jackson being mistaken for a deity is everything to me.

[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset