*twirling my hair around my finger* hes just soooooo burdened by his sense of duty and the insurmountable weight of being a mere man written into the role of a myth

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

weed isnt dangerous because its a "gateway drug" or whatever its dangerous because it puts you in the exact mindset to post song lyrics without context as if it's the sickest thing you've ever heard

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

finding somebody who will laugh at your shitty jokes is joy-inducing but finding a motherfucker who can yes-and all the esoteric bullshit you put out is pure cocaine. this must be the shit all those racuous but good-natured scoundrels down at the tavern are on

a great tragedy of this world is that many things that are bad for you also look very sexy. smoking. riding a motorcycle. that crazy shit they did to saint sebastian

Remember to kill everything in your way today no hesitation

hey is anyone else sick of having to adapt to horrible conditions over and over again