_Ri

Sometimes all you need is little alone time, where you seek adventures and give yourself the energy you give others. Love yourself and treat yourself better. There is no one who is going to treat yourself the way you will.

_Raconteur's Muse

Don't wait for someone to treat you better, when you can do it yourself.

....

You don’t truly understand loneliness until you have felt it in a room full of people. That’s why sometimes solitude is kinder, better to be alone from the start than to feel invisible among many.

Family never abandons each other.

Family is where your loyalty lies...

But what if it’s family that breaks you?

What if they don’t abandon you,

but slowly poison you;

with chains of expectation,

demands, and unspoken ownership?

What if loyalty isn’t owed to them,

but to yourself...

even if it feels like betrayal?

they know how to paint pictures in someone else's mind

without ever holding the brush.

After all, they were just 'talking'...

the rest was your assumption.

The worst kind of venom wears a friendly face.

I was always told fathers are like banyan trees; I only realised its importance and meaning once the tree above my head was gone.

I wish I had understood you better, Abba. I truly wish I had.

I was young, too young to carry the weight I was given, made responsible for things far beyond my years. I grew to resent the world and those around me. And in that haze, I didn’t see you. I didn’t appreciate you enough while you were here.

Now you are gone, and I have grown. The world feels colder. The burdens heavier. And there is no one left to shield me.

They say grief has a timeline. But it’s been four years, and I still grieve every single day.

I wasn’t as kind or understanding towards you as I should have been. But I want to be better now. I want to be someone Amma can lean on. Even if I no longer have anyone to lean on myself.

How to dissociate? Just quietly drift into a version of life where everything feels a little lighter and nothing asks too much of you.

I have; drifting through days like a whisper,

present in body, absent in spirit.

I breathe, I move, I speak: yet none of it feels mine.

Moments pass through me like shadows through glass.

I think, overthink, feel too much or nothing at all.

A quiet ache in the chest, a weight behind the eyes.

Existing, but not belonging;

Sometimes, it isn’t about having a crowd of friends: just one person is enough. The right one. The one who brings comfort in chaos, relives childhood with you, and makes even the most non-adult moments feel like home.