#sad realization

It's... Dark

Too dark in here

I can't see and that indeed scares me

I try looking around and calling your name but all I get is silence.

Holding out my hands, trying to figure out where I am, I get a sense that I might not be here alone.

But I am. I'm so alone right now that evens hell took a step back to apologize .

I wanna go home. A place where I'm safe, comfy, happy and most importantly I'm me but the more I struggle the more it feels like that is just a dream and I've been pulled into reality. Somehow I fear that this is right, the darkness and lonelyness was always here holding me back. Like that home I was talking about is this dark place I'm not sure of where it is exactly.

I keep telling myself that there's a voice in the distant but deep down I know it's my own voice screaming, crying for help.

Yet the people who usually listen showed their true faces and suddenly no one's left to listen anymore.

Has it always been like this. So dark and alone. I mean was I really to blind to see that there was nothing all along and that I was just dreaming. And if I was just dreaming then why am I waking up now?

Huh?

Why now of all times. Did someone wake me up, did something find me in this utter darkness and pull me out of my dreams to see that I was being overly used and hurt. If so then where is it now. Why wake me knowing that you'd leave before looking into my eyes or evens saying hi I'm here too.

Instead it just left and now what?

What am I supposed to do now? Where do I go? How do I know if it's the right path if I can't see. I mean is this what God ment when he said we all have a path that he built perfectly for everyone to have their own one. If so then why is my dark? What did I do to end up having God give me his perfect path in darkness. What doesn't he want me to see.

Breathing in and letting go. I sit down, tired of it all, taking in reality and finally accepting it. Smiling, I smile to myself knowing that even if here's monsters in this darkness non of them can see my hurt, worry,pain, so I wipe my tears.

Finally I understand it all, why god made this path of reality for me so dark.

It's not because he hates me no, it's simply because he saw the things I didn't see and wanted to protect me evens if I'm the one ignoring him.

This darkness isn't here to hurt no, it's here to protect.

Who would've thought he darkness would be my savior.