its december third and i just gotta ask all of you one question

HELP HIM YOU MONSTERS HE’S CONFUSED

*casts a gay little spell that curses your entire bloodline*

DUDE WTF YOU CURSED MY DOG

my dude, *why* are you related to your dog by blood

we made a blood pact to be best friends for life 👉👈

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

also “that’s a great question” means “I have no freaking idea”

if asked “how are things going?” and they reply “its going” it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown

“Getting by” means that I, personally, I am just barely surviving at the moment, please don’t ask any difficult questions.

Also if you actually answer “How are you?” honestly, it will cause other Americans to have a total BSOD response. We don’t know what to do.

“i need to go see the otolaryngologist” “oh you mean the throat-noses-ears-doctor?”

birth control vs. antibabypillen

getting a ride 2 tge hospital in an ambulance vs. getting a ride 2 the sickhouse in a sickwagon

destiel confession scene.