I would love to be stabbed by Jim

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

2027: Wizards of the Coast and the American Psychological Association collaborate on the D&DSM, 6th Edition, widely regarded as the worst thing ever published

this post posits a utopian world where either of these parties would support feeding schoolchildren, making it a masterclass in "hopepunk"

it's cause you're always experiencing that damn emotion

⚠︎ ! your body has kept the score.

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

emotionally retreating from everyone to focus on getting worse

when you save alarms for specific things but then you just keep reusing them. like sure wake me up at the chocolate milk alarm, what do i care

hate when someone asks how are you and you say good how are you and they say "oh not so great" or something. it's always like ohh okay i see we're being honest i thought we were playing pretend. can i have a do-over

generally you shouldn't write run-on sentences because they get confusing and it doesn't give the reader a break. that doesn't apply to me though my run-on sentences are fun and understandable and they have a rhythm to it that makes you want to keep reading

What are you even supposed to eat for dinner

And it’s like. Like it’s everyday girls.