Nothing Interesting

under my tyrannical rule all characters will be on the aroace spectrum

Today round ass puppy revealed to me, exhausted, at the end of my rope, that her training wasn't working not because she didn't understand, she did, she did, but instead because treats, chicken, turkey and pork apparently weren't enough motivation. She began obeying every word with startling accuracy as soon as she was offered something else. Doing backflips and stunts with pyrotechnics as prompted for the promise of a pea. A pea. She's a dog. A pea. A pea. A pea. I have to carry peas around now. On my person. Personal peas. 🫛 peas

the shit you do to make a dying phone work when you dont wanna buy a new phone is amazing. my phone no longer charges unless i plug and unplug the charger exactly ten times & then flip the charger around then it works. I dont want to say i have to fuck the port a little bit first but i have to fuck the port a little bit first

posts that remind me of @funnier-when-objectum

i do accomodate people with disabilities when they collect my pages btw

thank you Slenderman! can I wear earplugs? the static is a bit overstimulating

yes you can 👍

I love you Slenderman. can you kill my boss.

i love you too and i cant leave my forest but if you send your boss over to me i can probably arrange something

There’s something truly exquisite about stories where the real tragedy is the price you paid to stand on top of the world

Hollow victories … sacrificing your humanity on the altar of what you perceive to be the greater good … the loneliness of godhood … regret for the person you used to be … the realisation that there is no way back … *chef’s kiss*

its 10 AM on a weekday .

Isn't there an industrial boiler you're supposed to be maintaining

Emotional support animal but I just bite you a lot and sleep on top of you like a weighted blanket

notice how everyones 30 now

shoutout to project hail mary for showing one of the biggest and what sometimes feels like most unattainable aroace fantasies coming true: having a best friend who doesn't value you less than their romantic partner.

can you take my white ass to funkytown

nope. torture city again

come on

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

nope. funkytown again

come on

I hardly jeff the know ‘er

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

it is actually haunting me that I forgot to wave. if he looked out the airplane window, he wouldn’t have seen me…..

Go outside and wave real quick. He can not see you from wherever he is just as well as he could not see you from his plane. It's still nothing, nothing will change, but a process would occur.

surprisingly forward-thinking of jim henson and co. to make a female character in the 70's that's allowed to be loud-mouthed and violent and kind of overwhelmingly romantic and even a huge bitch at times and not have a moment where any character asks her to change

going through all the muppet movies in a row made me realize that like. miss piggy was made in the 70's. and it's so rare even today to have a character like her. she's loud, she's selfish, she's funny, she's extremely vain, she's obsessed with romance, she's violent, she's kind of annoying, and there's not a single moment in any of these films where she's asked to tone down any of these personality traits. i am not joking when i say that miss piggy might be one of the best treated female characters ever written