Silmarienthequeen

literally not a single fucking person:

me: actually if i was going to handle silmarils i no longer have any right to because i killed people and shit, i would simply not touch them bare handed. i, being an intellectual who knows that these stones burned the innards of a literal werewolf, a creature whose own stomach acids probably had the same corrosive effect as lava, am perfectly aware that my silly little tummy (which throws tantrums about dairy) is no match. a silmaril would give me instant stigmata. carve a perfect tunnel through my flesh. i, being clever and possessing the ability to look up at the sky, am equally aware that eärendil’s newest labret piercing being visible to the naked eye from the stratosphere makes it pretty clear that the thing is probably very bright. as bright as a star. neil armstrong walked on the moon in a space suit. he did not wank off the stars in his birthday suit. all things considered, i, unlike maedhros fëanorian who spent the first 500 years of his life eating hot chip, specialising in himbodom, lying, and not educating himself on basic physics, i would be trotting away peacefully from eönwë’s camp, my silmarils clenched victoriously in

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter. 

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

get a #GayElf // my kofi (these are free but if you want to support a fag this june <3)

Fingon and Maedhros Dawn

Motivated by @lotrart 's support to my older works of them, I just made something new.

Ooh good one

I had fun with this one she has garden fairy vibes.

I think I have as many pride reqs as I can get done this month, but if I do finish them all I'll open it up again. Thank you to everyone who has sent one!

Pfp version below