among us

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

robbing the pharaos tomb but hes the broke pharaoh and theyres nothing to steal

and the picture of him on the sarcophagus he's turning his pockets out and shrugging

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

little known fact about me i was actually isekai'd into this world from the video game world. i used to be a peggle orb

peggle 1 or peggle 2?

peggle 1... peggle 2... who's to say... it was just 'life' back there... to me... to my fellow orbs.......

erika kirk being handed the golden opportunity to be the face of conservatives for the rest of her life and then fumbling it instantly by being genuinely unlikable and off-putting will always be funny to me almost as funny as remembering that charlie kirk got shot in the neck and died