yes im the one whos turning ur child gay

Shane and Ilya just quickly looking at each other because. Well. Depending on the person the tuna breath really isn't what you're focusing on.

"Who even orders a dish with tuna on a date?", Jade asks shaking her head.

"But tuna is nice", Arthur says. "The tuna melts Uncle Ilya makes are always really good."

Jade rolls her eyes at her brother. Boys.

"Yeah, we like them too, Art. But obviously he wouldn't cook those for a first date", she says. "If someone made me a tuna melt on a date I'd run out of that room so fast. Right, Uncle Shane?"

Ilya chokes on his wine. Shane looks as if someone just punched him in the gut. Jade is happy that her Uncles are appropriately horrified at the thought of a tuna melt as a date meal.

Ilya declares Shane to be Katniss (‘so you’re the sad little baker boy?’ ‘I am the very brave very smart baker man’). Hayden is Gale. Obviously.

After watching the second film, Ilya develops a habit of saying if it weren’t for the baby in his best Peeta accent, and it becomes his excuse to get out of anything (‘I would pick up Hayden from the airport… if it weren’t for the baby’). It drives Shane insane, which only makes Ilya say it more. He even ups the ante, and starts touching Shane's stomach while he says it, which makes Shane even more deliciously vibratey angry

At a late summer team barbecue, Bood overhears this (‘My love, I would go and get you a beer… if it weren’t for the baby’, complete with tummy touch) and assumes Hollander is pregnant (he doesn’t concern himself too much with how, it's none of his business, really)

At the first training session of the season, much to the confusion of everyone else, Bood acts like an enforcer and keeps people away from Hollander during scrimmage. He lets Rozy get close, because Rozy is one of his best friends and Bood figures Rozy wouldn’t do shit to his pregnant husband, but then Rozy checks Hollander into the boards hard