Sille's World Of Writing

You took a short letter out of the envelope and with it came also an invoice over 30$. Apparently your insurance didn’t cover the skin exam so you needed to pay it yourself. It was only 30$ but you broke out in tears nevertheless. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t slept the night before or that all the stress from the exam was finally falling away but it had you sobbing nonetheless. Your bad conscience also played a factor in it.

The letter dropped from your hands as you tried to calm yourself down by pressing them to your face. You hated this. It was not normal to break down in tears over an invoice. Even if you were tired as hell and your mind was playing tricks again regarding what happened at the supermarket a few minutes ago.

An elderly women didn’t have enough money to buy all her groceries so she needed to give something back. Since you had your headphones in you didn’t know what was going on just that the women held up the line for quite a while already. After you finally registered what was going on you thought about just buying the groceries for her but you couldn’t make up your might until it was to late. One of the employees took away the milk product while the cashier put every other product behind her.

When it was your turn you bought your groceries yout told the cashier to give you the ones the elderly women left behind too while you kept and eye on her to make sure she wasn’t leaving the supermarket. The cashier thanked you more than ones as you payed.

The elderly women didn’t want to accept the groceries from you or wanted to pay you back at least but you said that it was finde and she should just enjoy them. After that you left the supermarket. All the way home your mind was telling you that you didn’t do enough. You should have bought her all her groceries and not just a few. You should have made up your mind sooner.

All these thoughts were swirling inside your hand. Combined with the stress from the exam and sleep deprivation you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

Suddenly your phone began to ring. Still sobbing yout took it out of your backpocket. Eddie was calling you. You swallowed, trying to compose yourself long enough to answer because you knew that he would come over to your apartment. Especially because he knew that you had your last exam today. He probably wanted to celebrate. But Eddie coming over was the last thing you needed right now. Even though you kind of wanted someone to hold you, you couldn’t let him see you like this. No one was allowed to see you like this.

Your phone stopped ringing as you searched for a tissue to blow your nose. After wishing the rest of the tears from your face you called your best friend back.

“Hey there sunshine!”, Eddie greeted you cheerfully. Despite your emotional state you smiled. It was always good to hear his voice.

“Hey Eddie,” you answered.

“How was your exam? I’m sure you aced it, didn’t you?”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” you replied, tears coming to your eyes again at the thought of your exam. “It was really hard and the question didn’t make sense at all. And I didn’t sleep last night so…”

“Nah! I’m sure you still passed! You were learning so hard!” he dismissed your concern. “But what did you mean you didn’t sleep last night? Not at all?”

“Yeah. My mind wouldn’t shut up.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have kept you company? Or come over? My apartment is just next door.”

You closed your eyes at his words. The thought crossed your mind as it got later and later last night. Eddie holding you would have gotten you to sleep right away like always. But at the end you didn’t do it because you didn’t want to burden him with your problems even if it was just not being able to sleep.

“You had a big day today. Maybe next time. How was the interview by the way?” you tried to change the subject.

“Drop the maybe and we’re good,” Eddie said. “And the interview was good. Next time this year I’m going to have a pulitzer. Gonna build it a shrine and everything.”

Despite still feeling awful you still had to laugh at that. “I can see you actually do that,” you chuckled.

“Of course. That award deserve a shrine. I have the design already mapped out.”

“Over confident much?”

“Naturally. There is nothing in this world which is going to top the article I’m going to write about this interview. Just wait and see.”

“Oh I will wait and see, don’t worry. I even promise to make you your favorite if you do win the Pulitzer.”

“I think that award deserve more then a dinner, don’t you think?” Eddie asked. You could hear the grin on his face through the phone which made you chuckle again.

“I’ll make you my famous cake too,” you answered.

“That’s my girl,” he exclaimed, quite pleased with himself. “But seriously this time Y/N. How was your exam?”

You sighed. “I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about it. The one today was so confusing that I wanted to hand it over without trying to answer anything. But I didn’t and I was able to write something to every question. But who knows it that will actually be enough to pass.”

“I’m sure. You need to have 51%, don’t you? I’m sure you got that somehow.”

“Your words in god's ear,” you breathed into the phone as tears sprang into your eyes again. Just thinking about the results of your exam made you anxious again. And your bad councis about the women at the supermarket came back in full force making you sob.

“Y/N?” Eddie asked. “What is it?”

You tried to suppress the tears long enough to answer him that everything was alright but you just couldn’t. The next thing you know was that you bawled your eyes out and told him everything that was burdened you including the supermarket story.

“I just want to be a good person,” you sniffed after you finally calmed yourself down.

““Making the effort to be good is really really important. But being yourself is more important,” he answered in a caring voice. “You need to be true to yourself and the Y/N I know is not selfish or any of the other things yut just told me. She is one of the most caring people I know. I mean look how we met.”

The thought about your first meeting almost a year ago made you laugh, while wiping the rest of the tears from your face.

“There it is,” Eddie said. You could hear the smile in his voice. “Knew that would make you laugh.”

“Thank you,” you breathed, grinning and already feeling better. Letting it all out helped wonders.

“Tell you what,” Eddie began. “How about you order us some pizza, I come over and we’re going to have a lazy night until we both fall asleep to those actions films you like to watch so much?”

“I’d like that,” you answered.

“Great! I take my usual with-”

“-extra cheese.” you interrupted him.

“You just know me too well. See you soon.”