be soft

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

I think "fuck you, I hate your work and I will do it myself and I will do it better" is a really funny and epic sentiment. i started publishing poetry because an ex boyfriend of mine was publishing really ass poetry in a bunch of journals and I was like "Jesus christ, this is garbage, I could do that, and I could do it better." now I have a page in the Academy of American Poets and I've published a full length collection and his website says "former poet." You should win by succeeding way harder than they do. Spite is a legitimate energy source.

truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.

can something good and pleasant happen to me now please

i am actually getting delirious like please

Computer. Iris by the goo goo dolls. Loud enough to kill.

We need to abolish capitalism so that girls have more time to look at each other's tits

It's Autumn, which means if I make a Big Pot of Soup it will Fix Everything. No one fact check me on this. We need to let the soup speak for itself.

I should be allowed into every museum’s archives actually

fuck does anyone have that poem thats like the speaker used to press her ear to conch shells when she was a child but as an adult the world has closed its second mouth or something

This is the best AITA because on the actual matter at hand I'd say he's kinda right (ish), $4900 for a week of work is really good money and they can always celebrate later. He should have obviously talked it over with her first but still. What makes him an asshole (or just like, a really really weird person) is every other detail that is tangentially mentioned.

wtf my url's right there!!!!!