Look How She Lights Up The Sky

I hate job interviewing "why are you interested in this job" I'm literally not? I do not want to do any of this.

"what can you bring to the company?" apprx. 40 hours a week of vague attempts at labor. maybe less if you guys suck.

lets call in sick tomorrow and go to the natural history museum

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

every 4th of july I think about the american tourist who was like oh thank god you’re open I wasn’t sure if you’d be open today and I was like why wouldn’t we be and he said because of the holiday. in norway.

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

none who ask me what i plan on doing with my master’s degree shall prosper

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck