Look How She Lights Up The Sky

lets call in sick tomorrow and go to the natural history museum

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

every 4th of july I think about the american tourist who was like oh thank god you’re open I wasn’t sure if you’d be open today and I was like why wouldn’t we be and he said because of the holiday. in norway.

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

none who ask me what i plan on doing with my master’s degree shall prosper

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

the generational gap between me and the people my age who were allowed to watch spongebob