welcome sickos

i feel like im pretentious about repression or whatever like oh they can identify and name their repressed desires thats like the boring level one repression wheres the level of repression where they cant even begin to contemplate their own desires because contemplating them is a slippery slope to actually having desires which is a slippery slope to everything

the problem with watching half man is that it really reveals to you just how much of everything else is just meaningless fluff with nothing of substance to say like does anybody else want to say something honest or just richard gadd ok nobody

just casually thinking about how Maura tickling Niall inappropriately led to her getting shoved across the room and how Ruben 'plays' inappropriately with Niall all the way to pulling his trousers down on the street before Ava stops him and how the behaviour of one parent might lend cover to the behaviour of another and how that might in fact be part of the lie she told herself...it was just playing...in order to not see...but she did see...and how she might defend her child's anger far beyond what seems logical to others because she knows where it comes from even if she can't stand to face it because she knows she allowed its cause and she knows she failed and that is why she tries to end it and only succeeds in adding yet another weight to her child's burdens but for her at least now she's not alive enough to have to know it...or perhaps she is and she's locked inside with the memories of the little boy she failed to protect...the boy who will stand at her funeral and take responsibility for something that was not his fault but never for the things that are because when he bears so much responsibility for the acts of his parents how is there room to take responsibility for anything else and if this life is hell and prison and punishment and the next one will be better then why wouldn't he want to take the only person he truly loves with him so all the suffering and the mistakes and the hurt can fall away and they can finally be free.

dude you look so masc wallowing in your misery like that