sickk as cancer

"I have led a toothless life", he thought. "A toothless life. I have never bitten into anything. I was waiting. I was reserving myself for later on—and I have just noticed that my teeth have gone."

“And finally I have mastered this thing you have, without words, shown you wanted me to be. Silent silent silent as death. A heart like winter. Longing for nothing. Giving nothing. Seeing nothing. Taking nothing. A statue. Without hunger. Without need. I have killed myself, for you to love me. And now, I will never love you, nor ever feel your love.”

“What devils have fallen down into your bones, my love? Come and breathe them in to me - underneath a funereal moon.”

“It’s all right to love someone who doesn’t love you back, as long as they’re worth you loving them. As long as they deserve it.”

“I don’t know where I’m going. Where I came from is disappearing. I am unwelcome. My beauty is not beauty here. My body is burning with the shame of not belonging, my body is longing. I am the sin of memory and the absence of memory. I watch the news and my mouth becomes a sink full of blood.”