Shit We Said

“Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.” Submitted by: @thejuicegoose

A: “What’s the fear of clowns called again?” B: “Common sense.” Submitted by: @rainbow-sword

“Apparently if you’re Albanian it doesn’t mean you’re albino.” Submitted by: @thinkrandomly-livespontaneously

“Y’know I heard the calories don’t count here.” Submitted by: @sapphicbitchhard

“Who put the sprinkles in the damn dishwasher?” Submitted by: @noiselessmicrosoft

“Dreams are brain roombas!” Submitted by: @chilly-jelly-bean 

“One sec, I have to bring the computer upstairs cause we’re going to Hell.” Submitted by: @spoopies83

“Hey teacher! Can you castrate someone with the welding tools?” Submitted by: @lonely-finch

“Why does there have to be drugs in medicine? why can’t it just be plants and we’ll get better, like drugs are so bad for you.” Submitted by: @autornail 

A: “Hmm should go downstairs for some food?” B: “Hess. it’s 1:27 am..?” A: “So? doesn’t mean I want Reese’s puffs any less.” Submitted by: @cosmicallylame

A: “Mustard smells like butt. But Burger King smells like mustard.” B: “So what are you saying?” A: “Burger King smells like butt.” Submitted by: @hooked-onfandoms

“Fuck, the overhead projector is back.” Submitted by: @wheres-my-waterbuffalo

“A gyrocompass always goes in the same direction as a magnetic compass, no matter how hard you dance.” Submitted by: @dirt-lesbian-deactivated2018051

“If he takes his shirt off, fine. He’s done that before. He’ll probably swear a bunch; that’s fine too. But I just don’t think I can handle it if he sexy-dances.” Submitted by: @captainswan618

“Nobody likes Romeo and Juliet because they think it’s realistic. They like it for the romantic ideals, or in my case, the fight scenes” Submitted by: @funnyihope