Sam Wilson reading a popsicle stick: What’s a gorilla’s favorite food
Bucky: Gorilla glue
Sam: ...It’s ape-ricots
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@shitpost-anewmusical
Sam Wilson reading a popsicle stick: What’s a gorilla’s favorite food
Bucky: Gorilla glue
Sam: ...It’s ape-ricots

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cats when youre making the bed: I WILL STAY AND DEFEND THIS KINGDOM TO THE DEATH. GOD HIMSELF COULD NOT MOVE ME FROM THIS SPOT AND NEITHER CAN YOU, YOU VILLAIN.
cats when theyre in your lap and you move even a little bit: fuck this shit im out
mando spoilers //
“He means more to me than you will ever know”
Sorry, himbo machine broke
McDonald’s milkshakes do not bring all the boys to their yard.
Clearly it did, how else would they run out? The boys came in swarms. Ronald never stood a chance.
“i frew up”

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Friendly October reminder not to put Spock or other Jewish characters in costumes with horns
to clarify: it is an antisemitic idea that Jews have horns (dating to a mistranslation of karan (shone) v keren (horns) ) which was perpetuated in art by the likes of Michelangelo. this is not a thing of the past–some gentiles still believe that jewish people have horns, and putting jewish characters in costumes/aus with horns is insensitive at best and also really fuckin gross
also do not depict Jewish characters as demons there is a very long history of Jews being seen as demons and that being used to kill us
please do not dress Jewish characters in costumes that are priest outfit or nun outfit or with crosses
Just to give y'all an idea of how modern the horn issue is: My dad, when he went to college in the early 1980’s, was asked by someone who had never met a Jew before where his horns were. In the 1980’s. My dad was asked where his horns were. This was only 30 years ago. I have been lucky not to deal with that particular stereotype in my lifetime, but that was less than a decade before I was born. And I know other Jews in areas where Jews are scarce have dealt with this much more recently than the 80’s.
Yup. When my mom went to college, her freshman year roommate woke up the first Sunday and started getting dressed for church. My mom was still in bed, so the roommate came over and woke her up.
Roommate: Did you want to come to church with me, or do you have your own church you’re going to?
Mom: Well, I don’t really go to religious services, but if I did I would go to a synagogue, not a church, because I’m Jewish.
(Long silence. My mom opens one eye to see her roommate staring in shock.)
Roommate: You … you don’t look Jewish.
Mom: (Who looks VERY Jewish) What do you mean?
Roommate: Well, my pastor always told me that Jews have horns and a tail.
Long story short: they didn’t end up getting along very well.
@optometrictzedek and @theforestsoulbird, it’s more recent than that.
I’ve been asked about my horns as recently as 1997. In a public school in New Jersey.
It would b cool of my non-Jewish followers to reblog this!!! Spread this bc it’s scary and real and you should know!
Kitty with some scissy. Who will he stab?
Aang: Why are you sad?
Zuko: Why not
Me: I’m rewatching jatp again for the plot
The plot: Willex
god why cant i be the tutor of a sweet dumbass who slowly falls in love with me and looks dreamily at me while i go on and on excitedly about the material why cant i have that

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anyone who can convince me reggie’s straight can have $20
Well then keep your $20
my cat got three modes
scream
pout
sleep
he aint screamin, he aint sleepin, so he poutin cause im not petting him
THE CAT HAS STARTED SCREAMING GET YOUR EARPLUGS
How could I forget his most important mode, About To Jump On The Dresser
It is the worst mode
my cat got three modes
scream
pout
sleep
he aint screamin, he aint sleepin, so he poutin cause im not petting him
THE CAT HAS STARTED SCREAMING GET YOUR EARPLUGS
my cat got three modes
scream
pout
sleep
he aint screamin, he aint sleepin, so he poutin cause im not petting him
me: oh my gosh you sniffled you need to take care of yourself!!! go home!!!!! get lots of rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also me: i have been sick for the whole month of july and i rested for one (1) day
so i sent this to my mom friend and apparently this isn’t how im supposed to be living? what is this

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Aang: This is the saddest I’ve ever been actually
Gaang: Are you okay
Aang: Yeah why wouldn’t I be
(via)