I love Tony, he's one of my favs but I'm not here as a Tony stan to tell you that your opinion is wrong and change your mind. As I said, that's your opinion and I validate it. Now, what I did come here is to show my point of view in his character in Iron Man. Obviously if you don't want to read it, that's fine by me, but at least I know I wrote it.
I'd like to point out that Stark's Industry began with Howard in WWII. Shit happened, the war was finished yada yada yada. Then, Tony is born. Throughout the movies, we see that Howards was an asshole. Sure, he left clues and had a plan for Tony in the future, but that does not account for the trauma he gave Tony. Howard had Tony in the spotlight since he was a toddler and forced him to graduate high school and enter MIT by the time he was 15. Tony never had a normal childhood and I am sure Howard couldn't have cared less.
Anyways, the stress of being good enough for his father caught up to him and he began drinking. He began having one night stands yada yada yada. I think we all know what Tony did in his early 20's up to his late 30's.
I don't particularly fault him for not knowing what exactly happens with his weapons. Tony NEVER should have been CEO. Not because he's incapable of –he's got the smarts to do so– but because he was never into that world. It was thrown at him. His father threw that at him.
In Iron Man, Tony was a complete mess. I will say that. But, Obadiah did not help the case. The older man would manipulate him. He'd do the same Howard did. Make Tony do shit for the public but keep him in the blanc on what was happening.
I am sure Tony did not know for what exactly they were being used. He knew they were weapons, he knew they caused harm, but Obadiah and his father created an image in his mind that the weapons were used for peace. Obviously it's stupid, I won't fight you and tell you that poor Tony he did not realize :c. No. He is an idiot for not realizing. But I do think the alcohol he drank to drown out everything had something to do with that.
Anyways, it was while being kidnapped that he saw the truth about his weapons. On one point, he was right in the middle of a terrorist base. The other point is that he was sober. Without those shits in his mind and being in the other side of everything, he realized what was really happening.
The moment he realized this, he stopped everything. He stayed in touch with news of what had been happening on Afghanistan. He built the Iron Man suit and went there to release the people there.
Then the rest of the movie.
I will not say that Tony is not at fault. I will not say that he is free from everything that went down. But I will say that he is not completely the only one at fault for his weapons.
Another point I wanted to add since I was scrolling through your blog:
I agree with you that it is completely wrong and stupid to say that Tony was being used for his money. He was not. As you said, it is mentioned in TFATWS that they weren't getting payed. Thing is. While he did not pay them, they were not completely on the ruins.
Tony built the Avenger's compound, gave them somewhere to live and provided them with basic human needs. He might have not payed them, but he did care for them to do that for them.
Still, that does not mean that the others used him for money. I honestly hate when ppl say that.