ultimate jemma simmons trash

gabe showing off his setup and dice collection in the starkid insta takeover is actually the purest thing in the world. i love you, gabe greenspan. never change.

Martina McBride didn't win Country Music Association Song of the Year for a song about how burning your house down with your abusive husband still inside it is good, noble, and an allegory for the American Revolution for people to act like the genre belongs to bootlicking fucks

how the hell did I leave Morgan Wade off this list. wrote a song about being depressed, alcoholic, and suicidal and how mental illness stigma sucks, saw how much people connected with it, wrote a Part II of that song about how she's doing better now but you're never totally free of the risk of relapse. fucking icon.

bringing the full version of this post back around because people are pissing me off today

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

the sign in button?

Howard Goodman: I can't be evil, I'm a status quo democrat! Wilbur "Uncle Wiley" Cross: Status quo, you say? Well, Howie, in my time in this world (and the next, and the next), I've had quite a long time to ponder the nature of "status quo." You see, it starts...with not questioning the answers...

watching a pot means itll never boil but leaving it unwatched makes it always boil over so basically cooking pasta is kinda like quantum superposition

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

I bet it feels good as hell to loosen your tie 👔 yell 🗣"I QUIT!" 🚫‼️ throw up a flurry of papers 📃 and storm out the tall gray building 🏢 with a little box 📦 of your stuff including a cord dragging behind you and a small Plant 🪴 never to return 🥰

I just learned yesterday that watermelons could explode when overripe and then today one exploded in my kitchen. So I guess I'll never learn anything new ever again just to be safe.

tumblr is so funny within my mutual circle ppl will be like cannibalism as a metaphor for sex is honestly so overdone 🙄 like it’s not even transgressive anymore it’s just vanilla atp 🙄 and then you go a little too far outside that circle and people are trigger tagging memes about infidelity

The instinct when seeing some shit to say "who the hell put this on my dash" and then scrolling up to see beloved mutual's name and icon. And looking the other way peacefully.