ultimate jemma simmons trash

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

I bet it feels good as hell to loosen your tie 👔 yell 🗣"I QUIT!" 🚫‼️ throw up a flurry of papers 📃 and storm out the tall gray building 🏢 with a little box 📦 of your stuff including a cord dragging behind you and a small Plant 🪴 never to return 🥰

I just learned yesterday that watermelons could explode when overripe and then today one exploded in my kitchen. So I guess I'll never learn anything new ever again just to be safe.

tumblr is so funny within my mutual circle ppl will be like cannibalism as a metaphor for sex is honestly so overdone 🙄 like it’s not even transgressive anymore it’s just vanilla atp 🙄 and then you go a little too far outside that circle and people are trigger tagging memes about infidelity

The instinct when seeing some shit to say "who the hell put this on my dash" and then scrolling up to see beloved mutual's name and icon. And looking the other way peacefully.

admittedly i know little of the subject but one would think, at 45 years of age, he would be a ryan goose by now

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

i Really love when two characters are really quite similar but in such a way that they just hate eachother onsight.. dog barking at a mirror type beef

perfect for a sanitation company!

desired you while the women flee

Rubbing salt, garlic, and onion into the wound.