welcome to the bleebus circus

Choose your fucking fighter from this interview

if you travel to the US from a foreign country you have to get the sex tracker put in your arm

You have to stay married for a year and a day before you get divorced

If you get caught having sex outside of fuck day you get a fine, apparently, and if you do it enough times then you get jail time.

The answer on why the Supreme Court hasn't stepped in doesn't make sense to me so I'm just gonna transcribe the direct answer: "Well, clearly they have not, because it was just passed," Gluck said. "The Supreme Court very rarely gets involved in legislation. There used to be three branches of government in the United States, until your president came around. But there's three branches of government. So it's hard for them to overturn legislation, but possible. But I think they're gonna have to wait till the politics shifts." (no I don't know what "your president" means, the director is American.)

Again THIS IS A METAPHOR FOR COVID: "I wanted to set up a situation that was three years ago and see how people deal with life now," Gluck said. "My analogy has always been COVID. If you drop in an alien in 2022, there's signs everywhere. Some people don't wanna do this. Some people wanna wear this. Did people fight it? People didn't fight it? In 2022, you don't really know the answer. But people have to move on with their lives, right? Three years earlier some shit did go down, but now it's three years, and humans have to move on with their lives, whether they like it or not."

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")