the graveyard of my self-respect

Ashley jokes about sex for sure, but finding sex funny and having sexual attraction are two different things. And like Ashley’s attitude to sex tends to be transactional, as when she thinks of having sex it’s not for its own sake, but as a way to get something. Having sex with the neighbor and getting pregnant to escape quarantine, or doing sex work.

Ashley’s joking attitude to sex and lack of expressed sexual attraction mirrors Andrew in a way. He is obviously extremely horny for her but has severely repressed it, and he is rather humorless about Ashley’s sex jokes, because the subject of sex is a sore spot because of that repression. Andrew only laughs at her blowjob joke in the incest vision because he is finally letting go of that repression and can see the humor.

Now, Ashley being asexual and not into Andrew in that way doesn’t mean coffincest isn’t real. She has good reasons to fuck Andrew that isn’t sexual attraction. Andrew might break if she doesn’t. The decay route shows Andrew might go insane and kill Ashley and then himself as the only way to resolve the contradiction between who he is, an incestous murderer-cannibal and his desire to be normal. And even on the “sane” non-incestous burial route, the sibling’s relationship is noticeably colder than on the “questionable” incest route. That’s because Andrew is holding back his affection for Ashley because of his repression of his incestuous desires.

And above all Ashley wants Andrew to drop the act of being aloof from her and finally admit his love for her. Part of coffincest for my brain is that it is Ashley being transactional about sex again, but what she gets out of it here is very much everything she wants. An Andrew who can freely and fully admit to his feelings for her, who doesn’t repress or uses other women for sex as substitutes for the woman he actually desires. And well, there are many asexuals who don’t experience sexual attraction but enjoy the act of sex, maybe Ashley is one of them.

She is brash and confident, she knows who she is as a person and doesn't care about anyone else or what others might think of her to the point that even basic human decency or the concept of morality mean very little to her (unlike her brother who tries to fit in and be normal, act normal), but when it comes to Andrew she constantly falters and lets her doubts and anxieties slip through. She is too insecure to really believe (until chapter 2, burial route) that Andrew would ever love her, because, as she had insisted multiple times (for example Nina's death), she believes that he wouldn't ever choose her and if she hadn't managed to successfully trap him, he too would have left her already, just like everyone else. Deep down, under her nonchalant facade, it seems like she had already accepted that Andrew doesn't love her and would never be able to love her, even if she despises the fact.

And can you even blame her? I mean you can, she is a fucked up person as a whole, but the whole world is crazy in one way or another, she has some real fancy untreated problems and the only guy who matters in her life, who is both her brother, her caretaker, her only friend and her romantic interest all in one, is also an asshole who can not make up his mind for shit and there is only so many times one can be rejected before they take it to the heart to some extent.

Andrew is a pussy, there is no going around that, he wants her just as bad as she wants him but he is too scared to admit it. I think the main reason he even dares to be so abrasive to her is only because he has full confidence in the fact that Ashley will always stay with him, no matter how hard he pushes her away (and he is right, even after 2 murder attempts Ashley will still go "omg relationship goals <3").

So the two of them are locked in this volatile, vacillating but relatively safe game of tug of war that neither of them is willing to let go of, but the minute they ease their grip (burial route, Ashley starts trusting Andrew, Andrew is more honest with her) their relationship starts to get more gentle and loving, which Ashley has a hard time dealing with. She gets the one thing she had ever wanted, Andrew's undivided love and yet the minute she gets it she folds? She looks so lost and unable to deal with this new development their relationship took and nor can she stop herself from questioning this newfound fondness Andrew shows her so openly. Your honor, my client is showing clear signs of insecurity here, which the vision does little to ease btw, because had grown far too accustomed to the hopelessness to see it for what it is, or to put it another way, she is dumb as Fuck. Just look at how even after AAAALLLLL that she still makes a comment about how it had shown her a new way to keep him around, because she is still thinking about having to "keep him around". There is Literally no need for that GIRL SNAP OUT OF IT 😭😭

Renee literally made Andrew parent Ashley, went out of her way to make it so Andrew was the person she'd rely on for any kind of emotional support, had them share a bedroom their whole lives, then literally sold them and did not give a fuck that they would starve and die in a cruel way, having no one but each other to turn to during that torture because they could not leave the apartment.

Yet she's surprised that Andrew not only resents her, but also feels a sense of obligation to Ashley and actually cares about her in his own fucked up way - aka she failed to do as a parent because she simply could not be bothered.

She simply doesn't understand the basic concept that Ashley could have any vallue as a person, even for someone that was forced to stand by her side his entire life. She doesn't accept that Andrew could ever resent HER for everything he had to endure instead of just blaming Ashley and no one else. She doesn't get that they are trauma-bonded because she doesn't believe she traumatized the fuck out of both of them.

Also the NERVE and complete lack of self-awareness this woman has for calling Andrew disgusting for the incest, even though it was all caused by her own screw ups as a parent. Again, they slept in the same bedroom, their whole lives - childhood, adolescence and first years of adulthood. Then she had them be locked up in the apartment together. Alone. Even though she was already getting weird vibes from them for a while.

🐰💚×❤️🐰