OMG Wow What The Frack I Mean Uh Quick Shikoire

Rabbits rely on body language for the majority of their communication.  They also rely on manners in a way that would make the Heian Era aristocrats look uncultured.  And you don’t get manner dictates like that without ALSO knowing how to be passive-aggressive with them. 

Rabbit flops are super vulnerable for a bunny.  Their stomachs are exposed and they’re in a position that means if danger shows up they have to waste precious seconds getting up before they can sprint for safety.  A rabbit flop means both ‘I’m so happy I can’t contain it’ and ‘I feel so safe I am going to be vulnerable and really let go’.  Rabbit owners love seeing it.  It means that your bun really does feel that safe around you.  It’s a pretty high compliment from an animal that knows everyone’s out to kill them.

However -

it can also be used passive aggressively in the ‘you mean so little to me you’re not even worth acknowledging as existing’.  It’s right on the same level as walking into a room and greeting everyone but one person.  An enemy rabbit would be a threat.  This rabbit?  This rabbit isn’t even important enough to be a threat.  They’re a nobunny and so I will flop because there is nothing in the area worthy enough to bother being aware of.

my love! let me ask you this - did you eat breakfast today? this tiny moment in your life. just think about it. did you?

for some of you, the answer is yes and for some of you it is technically and for some of you it is does coffee count. some of you reached for cereal or gmo-free overnight oats or frozen waffles or 3-day-old pizza. sometimes we eat the same thing, every day, for weeks. i get tired of eggs randomly, only to go back to craving them desperately. i’m cuban; i take my coffee like my father showed me, very milky and sweet.

some of us ate in a hurry. some of us hate eating breakfast but if we don’t we will get nauseous later. some of us took our meds first or took our meds after. some of us have a kitchen 5 feet wide and sometimes it’s the biggest room in the house. some of us are confident there will be food in the pantry and some of us flinch and say well, the paycheck is coming. some of us turn on a podcast while we eat or we scroll our phones or write in our diaries.

some of us are choosing, specifically, not to eat breakfast. some of us are too busy. some of us are pretending we “just forgot,” but we are ignoring the warning signs that everything feels too-heavy. some of us are so consumed with anxiety or grief that we can’t eat. some of us can’t stand up long enough to make our coffee. some of us have no table to sit down and eat.

i cannot tell you what an artist “meant” by their choices. but they did have to make a choice, conscious or otherwise, to give you information. to give you a little bit more light. each of these choices are little stars of data; connecting speckles for you to weave through, drawing a line.

you cannot use a mirror in a dark room. for some of us; we will not care that the curtains are blue, because that will just be a data point and not enough light to see by. for some of us, the blue curtains will be the same as our childhood bedroom. it will make us seasick. for some of us, blue will be the color of frostbite. it might look like a pixel up close; but from a distance, oh! the picture blooms.

i cannot tell you what will stick out for you. what will carry meaning. some of you will read the sentence “i didn’t have breakfast today” and say “this means nothing.” some of you will read that and say “oh, me neither.” some of you will say “this means the character is probably a little grouchy.” some of you will say “oh, i wonder if they’re okay. why didn’t they eat anything?” … art is a mirror. i am holding hands with you, over space and time, and asking you to feel something with me.

i want you to read my work and find a blue pair of curtains. i want you to read my work and find things in it that i never imagined placing. i have no way of knowing what will resonate with you, that’s true. and maybe i just was hungry while i wrote this, and thinking about the eggs in my fridge. but if you found meaning, that meaning is yours. it cannot be erased just because i didn’t “intend” it. you created a different world by interpreting my work. it’s collaborative! that’s beautiful! that’s stunning!

just! imagine looking at the night sky and saying - it’s stupid to have a favorite constellation or a favorite star. they’re just there.

The trouble is, if you ask him about something he knows fuck all about, he will make up an answer on the spot. He won’t say “I don’t know”, he’ll just wing it. He’ll pull an explanation out of his ass (not with malice and intent to misinform, he will genuinely attempt to guess right) and present it to you with the EXACT same confidence and panache as a subject he knows back and forth. (It’s probably not a coincidence that he used to be be a salesman. My man is good with words, and he relishes it. Plus, he’s trying to help!)

As a result, he is the most unreliable source ever. He has no tells! A random audience couldn’t possibly deduce when he knows what he’s talking about and when he doesn’t. Fortunately, he’s my friend, and I can actually ask him to his face “hey are you bullshitting me?”, and if he is he’ll go “yeah totally”. (Or go into drama queen mode and be like “who, me? nooooooo”, but in an entirely unconvincing manner, which is of course a jest and a confession: if he wanted to convince, he could.)

I think that few people can do that in direct oral communication, because it takes serious improv skills, a lot of wit, and a lot of confidence. (It’s very roguish, really. It’s the con artist’s bailiwick.) But on social media, lacking that direct face-to-face communication, and usually having time to concoct a reply (rather than... spew it), it’s kinda common. It’s not even on purpose, necessarily. People will thoughtlessly make things up, in more or less good faith. (It’s impressive how easily humans can deceive themselves.)

he’s a a cruise with his parents to australia where he’s gonna spend a year or so for some reason. can’t remember why but it was job related. his mom is worried that if he spends too long away from her without her constant advice (my mom is also like this lol) he’s going to do something impulsive and ridiculous. 

so, he decides to prank her by pretending to get married to a woman he just met. because he’s obviously so impulsive and ridiculous. so he’s talking to people and stuff and he asks this woman if she’s cool with pretending to marry him to prank his parents. and she says yes. then he goes and talks to the captain and crewmembers and he’s like “i have this ridiculously funny prank where i’m going to pretend to marry this lovely woman to freak out my mom.” and they, of course, reply hell yeah. so like since the first mate has the power to marry people, i guess, he agrees to the fake wedding. 

so at lunch he’s like “mom, dad, this is alyssa. i met her last night and we’re in love and also getting married.” and his mom freaks out and that could be that. but no.

if they’re gonna do this they’re gonna go big or go home.

so, he changes his facebook status to “married to alyssa” and invites all his friends to his wedding in the middle of the ocean. (and they believe him and congratulate him and he’s concerned that his friends think he would really marry a random woman he met like six hours ago) 

now his mom is getting really nervous b/c alyssa (the fake bride) got her friends she was on the cruise to be her bridesmaids. they got the first mate to “marry” then at dinner in front of people. the mom is horrified. 

anyway the next day he goes “just kidding!” and it’s hilarious. but then he has to contact all his friends who were calling him on the phone and stuff to congratulate him to tell them it was an elaborate joke and they all think he’s an asshole and he and alyssa part ways but keep in touch b/c they… actually get along pretty well. 

anyway like a year later they meet up again in boston (i think? big city that wasnt new york) and talk and end up dating for like a year and then end up engaged for real. and now he invites his friends to his real wedding and all their RSVPs essentially say “i’ll show up, but if this is another fake one i’ll fucking murder you” and the mom just flat out didnt believe him for a month because she’s not falling for that again.

and now they’ve been married happily for like three years and they’re expecting their second child who has probably been born by now 

The Vessel switches off their location-transmission devices, thereby making themselves a HAZARD TO MARITIME NAVIGATION, in order to ENGAGE IN ILLEGAL ACTS.

The Vessel is FRAUDULENTLY DISPLAYING a national flag that is NOT OF THEIR REGISTERED PORT OF ORIGIN.

The Vessel is otherwise engaged in ACTS THAT VIOLATE SOLEMN MARITIME LAW, and may face fines and prosecution in admiralty court for their offense in their port of origin or nation in which the offense was registered.

“Fight the mobs, they’re part of the game!” no. I get scared

“Just use mine carts!” And use all that iron?

“Then use boats and ice!” You need enchantments to collect ice. All my paths take is dirt and ladders (and torches)

She would come with these PPE materials as well as hot pink rubber gloves that reach her elbows and loose scrub-type pink pants and the Barbie-style rain boots but in white with no detailing. I’d make the pants and gown a thicker material for playability. True viral and biological security doesn’t really matter, just want kids to get used to personal protective material in case they’re interested in mortuary science or the medical field.

She has two additional outfits, funeral planner Barbie, which is a professional pantsuit and a white blouse underneath as well as black pearl earrings and a black pearl necklace. She wears black flats as well.

No. Even with such egregious safety shortcuts, they barely even scratched the surface of what was possible. Sure, they had drive and vision, but never enough for my taste. They weren’t mad. They were barely even eccentric.

And I was no mere hench! I know the process. Every single object you see in these pictures was designed and assembled by me, with my own mind and hands. And moreover, I know all the radical experiments that they were too timid to attempt. All I need is some space, a bit of cash, and a used furnace or two, and I will spin up an operation to put my erstwhile peers to shame.

For as much as they were willing to risk with our health, they were unwilling to risk the money. Honestly, I get it. People do stupid things when funding is on the line. Happens all the time. I can’t even be angry. I’m really not.

OP, I am BEGGING you to write in with this because I want so badly to hear their voices read your email with mounting horror as they get to the pictures of the box god probably lived in.

Igntion! is fantastic. Every time I read it I skip to the chapter on exotic rocket fuels and laugh at the boron chemists.

The Princess Bride (1987)  dir Rob Reiner