Certified Hater

bro it sounds like maybe you need a reminder of the glorious interconnectedness of all things?

“when i was little” brother you are 5’3. so you must mean yesterday. or five minutes ago.

“i'll be there shortly” yeah. we know.

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

We all got that one mutual that be going through the most treacherous situations a person could endure and then posting a few minutes later about why such and such should get fucked through a concrete wall.

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

why do people think victorian orphans were like. the peak of sheltered pure innocence

"imagine feeding mountain dew to a victorian orphan" they'd probably appreciate the pick-me-up before their shift as junior osha violator at the accident factory

"imagine showing a victorian orphan vtubers" they'd say "this is boring i wanna watch public executions"

#that victorian orphan works as a chimblysweep to buy lifesaving medical cocaine and chloroform for his sister and yall dont even smoke weed

Collect small astonishments. The first tomato of summer. A dog dreaming in its sleep. Someone laughing before they finish the joke. The moon arriving before the sun has quite departed. We keep waiting for life to announce itself with trumpets, but it has always preferred quieter instruments.

desired you while the women flee

eddy burback video: I did the russian sleep experiment for a month