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@shiftyarchfey
Bringing you more Bad Books and Immodest Pictures, your Impure Thoughts Stockpile was getting low.

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I like this article because it’s not what you think it is.
the world is a strange and wonderous place
What critters are common in your neighborhood, but really exciting to visitors?
YourWildCity.com | Patreon
You if bugs didn't exist

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Yes or da
Dear fellow ESL speakers, be honest: how often do you find yourselves saying "yes" in your native language when speaking English to English native speakers?
Yes, the question is born out of my frustration at all the Heated Rivalry fanfictions that have Ilya saying "da" far too often and in absolutely normal situations. Sorry, but that's not how reverting to your native language works, actually.
I have been known to use my native language in the following situations (but it's Linguistics, really):
spotting a horrifying pest I am mortally afraid of: screams in native language
getting hurt: the equivalent of "ouch" in my mother tongue (sorry but when in pain I can't be expected to translate my instinctive reaction).
counting: if I count in English I focus on the words not the numbers, so it's a pointless exercise.
frustration: you know when you're trying to do something, but for some reason you're not having any success? (looking at you, demonic jar I can't open) That's when the native language comes out. It will be either a persuasive "come on!" or an angry "why won't you open you evil jar" depending on the number of attempts. It will be, invariably, in my native language.
tiredness: I barely remember my own native language when I'm tired. I'll try my best in English but be ready for grammar to go out the window and for a few choice words in my mother tongue, mostly mumbled beyond comprehension.
For balance, I should also add some other situations when I totally use my native language on purpose because of semantics, thus I whole-heartedly approve those usages in fanfiction (but it's still Linguistics, really):
terms of endearment: yes, darling and sweatheart and honey and what-not are fine. However, I will call my loved ones by names my heart resonates with on a deeper level, and that's going to be in my native language.
saying "I love you": now, the English language is awful for expressing love because you people only have ONE VERB, whereas there are MANY different kinds of love. So I will say "I love you " in my mother tongue, it's just better that way, trust me.
idioms that I love so I will teach to my foreign loved ones, with the only purpose of using them in conversation. And also because everyone needs enrichment.
insults: if you've just tried to run me over with your car while I was crossing the street with the PEDESTRIAN GREEN LIGHT ON, you bet I'll have words while you speed away. And those words will be in my native language (let's file this under fear and/or anger).
Wow, this turned out a lot longer than I thought. Sorry not sorry. Do tell me when you use your native language mixed with a foreign one! (And please don't tell me you use it to say "yes" :D)
my controversial opinion is I don’t think Zuko was confused by “my first girlfriend turned into the moon”
he was there during siege of the North. he infiltrated the spirit oasis. he has an uncle who studies spirits and the spirit world. he watched the sky go dark then the moon suddenly reappear like everyone else in the entire world did. and most importantly he watched zhao get eaten by a giant godzilla fish spirit.
his entire life since he saw that beam of blue-white light in the south pole has been ‘this day has already been so goddamn weird’
The only really new information was that that was Sokka’s girlfriend
Important opinion in the tags that I need to have be part of the post:
Also, Iroh was there? He literally watched Sokka make out with the moon spirit. And you want to tell me that a romantic sap like him would not have immediately told Zuko about this romantic tragedy? Please, Zuko has known about this for ages, he just knows that this is not an acceptable situation in which to say “yeah, I know.”
Sokka: “My girlfriend turned into the moon.”
Zuko: “I know.” “Yes.” “She sure did.” “Uh huh.” “Tell me something new.” “Are we still talking about that?” “That’s rough, buddy.”
[image: tags by samwisethebold: #it’s not that he doesn’t get what sokka means #it’s that how on earth do you respond to that]
When you put it like that, this is actually a legendary display of tact on Zuko’s part
Drives me genuinely insane that kids-only spaces on the internet like Club Penguin were destroyed because companies realised that there’s only so much profit you can squeeze out of children with no disposable income, so now kids are being forced into adult spaces on the internet where the profit model is to find the most viewers you can passively expose to ads that nobody is clicking on so all online media is slowly turning into Mr Beast Elsagate nightmares, and for adults this means giving your ID to companies owned by businessmen with Epstein connections to keep the kids “safe.” Clown internet.
THE ONLY SHIP THAT IS BAD IS CENSORSHIP
So just to be clear for the historical record, my liege, we are one hundred percent sure that this apparently unremarkable farm boy is the hero chosen by the gods to beat back the darkness?
Of course it's not that I could ever doubt your judgment, my liege, but the qualifications by which he has established himself do seem somewhat opaque to those of us without direct insight to the will of the divine.
No my liege I do not deny that he has a certain aesthetic appeal. A solid nine out of ten, as you say. Perhaps a ten if he were more acquainted with the concept of personal grooming?
One does wonder, however, if there are not other qualifications that might be more pressing for the specific post of being the hero who will beat back the darkness.
My liege of course is very wise, indeed none could argue that the tools of violence are not frequently overstated in their importance. Given how little we know about the shape the coming scourge is to take, who could say what skills would be required to defeat it? Might not a scholar or physician or even a particularly inspiring poet win us the day, in the end? Most wise, most insightful.
It's just that this particular farm boy doesn't even seem to actually know all that much about farming, my liege?
No no of course that's not relevant, quite correct, your wisdom remains unassailable. What would farming have to do with saving the world indeed!
So we are going with the farm boy. For sure then. No, no, of course my liege this humble servant would not dream of gainsaying your choice.
Pardon me, my liege, but I must go and ponder my orb for a while. There are some dark murmurings I was previously ignoring that suddenly sound a lot more sensible.
Hm? Oh no, I said nothing of importance, your graciousness. Haha, yes, of course we shall drain our already strained coffers to host a celebration for the new champion!
How wonderful.

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you're so beautifol :) may i sense you with my feelers
of course! let me just-
(source)
Werewolf Be Upon Ye
Do not cite the deep magic to me, I was there when it was written.
Do not cite the deep
magic to me, I was there
when it was written.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
what's a werewolf
The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"
On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."
Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.
i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.
well damn . egg on my face
THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself
I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.
I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.
I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.
29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)
but I did the in person practical shit at school.
the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.
so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.
Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

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(via @archaeohistories over at Bluesky)
The 4th of July commemorates the American Revolution, an event which took place in Qing-dynasty North America during the reign of the Qianlong Emperor, Gaozong
It represents a succesful uprising against the rule of one of the local warlords feuding in Europe at the time.