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Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.
My brothers are my half-brothers; they spent summers and some holidays with us. I love my brothers.
Their mother picked up after them. They were not required to take plates the kitchen or do the dishes or anything like that.
My mother, who would tell you she is for equality, came home one day, sighed at the mess of dirty dishes scattered about, and said, "Gayle, help me pick up."
"Those aren't my dishes," I said. "I picked up my dishes."
My mother sighed again. "Just help me pick up."
"No," I said again. "I didn't make that fucking mess."
She never approached my brothers and said, "Boys, in this house, you take your dishes to the kitchen." She did not tell our dad, "Hey, tell the boys they need to pick up after themselves."
It was, "Gayle, pick up the dishes."
And when I refused because it was not my fucking mess, I got lectured about being difficult.
See also: My brothers--in a classic dick-move of all siblings--figured out they could pop the lock on the bathroom door and throw it open, and I would freak out because I was in the shower and trying to get five fucking minutes of peace.
Guess who got yelled at for being "unreasonable"? Not the boys. Because a lot of moms of millennial boys still said shit like "boys will be boys" when they should have said "Boys, if you got body-slammed on the concrete, I'm not taking you to the hospital."
It was similar for Xers. I spent a lot of time in my 20's teaching romantic partners and friends basic household skills and having to be really hard ass about them carrying their weight.
It is stupid and infuriating and I hate that the "Boy Mom" trend is setting yet another generation up for unfairness and domestic strife.
One time when I was in high school, my mum came home w/ groceries. She needed help bringing all of them in. Did she ask my brother who was already outside playing basketball? No. Did she ask her husband who was sitting on his ass watching TV in the living room? Nope. She walked past both of them, through the house, and into my room where I was doing homework and yelled at me for not immediately coming out to help her.
I have been told that I am "the last of the millennials" or that I'm a "gen zer" or that I'm "on the cusp" by so many different people that I am 100% convinced this is not a generational problem. It is a societal problem. And millennial parents are not immune to raising their kids this way just bc they're younger than x'ers and boomers. Same goes for gen z'ers and every generation after us so long as misogyny remains the bedrock of society that it is.
One of my less popular takes is outside of the occasional homophobic penetration anxiety fueled chirps---and those are only coming from the most fervent, least self-aware homophobes---I think the hockey world by and large de-eroticizes Shane and Ilya's relationship. Fandom often imagines the opposite, because fandom pretty much only knows how to eroticize relationships, and projects that dynamic onto the fictional public. But gay relationships are more often de-eroticized.
I think with Shane and Ilya's marriage it's this dual consciousness thing where everyone knows they're married, obviously, it was a huge deal. But it's like a quantum marriage, unless you're looking directly at it it's just not perceived. Rookies and trades are completely taken aback the first time they see Shane and Ilya snuggle together at the bar after a game, or kiss, or head off to their shared room. It's like oh right. Right. They're married. Obviously they would---right. Sure. We all saw the kiss. I guess. I kinda tried to forget about that.
In general I think no one upon no one wants to imagine two of hockey's greats being sincerely attracted to another man. That's like---fucking embarrassing. These are the guys you idolized most in the entire world, and now...? The cognitive dissonance is too much, so most just ignore it. Shane and Ilya are constantly having to remind people that they are in fact each other's husbands. They're going to All-Stars and some assistant keeps calling Shane up to ask if he wants event tickets for his partner or family and finally he's like "my husband already has an event ticket he's playing in the goddamn game."
Now I do think the Cens team, org, and home media are pretty good about it, they know Ilya and Shane personally and they've had a long time to wrap their heads around the idea that they're together. So they talk about it normally and causally. I think the Cens home announcers in particular love to drop marriage tea they manage to get from Shane and Ilya in the hallways and such. Stuff like "You know Ryan, I asked Shane this last week....he told me he can't carpool with Rozanov anymore because their music tastes are too different [cue for cheesy announcer laughter]"
But when the Cens games are national broadcast? Oh it's a shit show. The national announcers are ALWAYS weird as fuck about it, being evasive or awkward every time Ilya and Shane interact at all. Cens fans get super annoyed every single time and take to Twitter and Reddit en masse to complain. It basically becomes a meme among NHL fans that if a Cens game is picked for national broadcast the Cens fandom is gonna be rabid for the night. Ron Lemon becomes infamous for sparring with Cens fans on the topic, until he becomes practically banned from Ottawa (if he's seen around the city people legitimately get pissed off)
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This has been my main argument against "AI" from the very beginning.
OpenAI scraped the entire web. All of which had been a labor of love from humans. Wikipedia is the backbone of a lot of LLMs, and that was volunteer human labor. They stole it and now they're selling it back to us.
And worse, they're trying to destroy the free sources that they stole from. It's destruction of human knowledge on an unprecedented scale. The burning of the library of Alexandria has nothing on this.
I love the opening of Heated Rivalry so much because it sets up the show and Shane and Ilya's dynamic so perfectly. From "not the most sociable" Shane Hollander actively going out of his way to interact (because he's already fascinated by him) to "not liked outside of his own locker room" Ilya Rozanov being a bit of a cocky shit (which we pretty quickly realise is a front) to the instant spark of attraction.
Look at this man experiencing freckles and awkward Canadian politeness and developing a fat crush.
My favourite part however is as Shane is leaving clearly uncomfortable with how their conversation went (he does a head tilt like "well, that went horribly")
Ilya notices and that's when he chirps, immediately making Shane more comfortable as he chirps back. And thus, their lovingly teasing, when they say "asshole" and "boring" they really mean "I love you" dynamic is born.
Also, yes, Ilya's lighter doesn't spark until Shane appears which is just an additional beautiful touch.
HW: Our show was kind of unusually block shot. It was shot like a giant movie, which means we're shooting parts of episode 5 in the beginning, parts of episode 4 early on. In the same day we're going from multiple scripts. We had to hold the entire story and then go in on command to these different points that these characters are at.
(sources and disclaimers below)
the basis for this gifset were the film stills from sabrina lantos's website which contain the day number in the file name and the date taken in the properties:
and then most of the other stills from here have the date taken embedded:
since the above stills don't contain the day in the file name, i made a schedule to assign each date to a filming day number. i can't guarantee it's correct, but once the weekends were in place it did all line up nicely (including with the confirmed wrap date, june 10th).
the following days were mentioned in interviews:
DAY 1
"We jumped around. I think we were in five different years or something crazy on day one. I remember doing the first scene of the day..." — Connor
"The foot tap." — Hudson
"[The Tampa hotel room] was day one of shooting. I'm pretty sure that was the second scene we shot before the Vegas scene where I crawled to him." — Hudson
DAY 3
"[The Russian funeral] was day three of production overall, and that was my first day." — Slavic
DAY 4
(alexei's scenes were filmed on two consecutive days) "I was only there for two days." / "I got to meet Hudson the [day after the Russian funeral] when we were doing my [phone scenes]. He was just down the hall in a different studio" — Slavic
DAY 11
this day wasn't mentioned by number, however, the time code on the film slate seen in this behind the scenes video [image version] shows 05 05 25 11 (5th of may 2025, day 11). and there is mention of which scenes were shot that day:
- rachel said, "They were filming the very first sex scene..." (for 4 hours!) and "I stayed until the very end [of that day] because I knew that the last thing that they were going to film was on the beach in Tampa".
- the casting directors were also on set this day, they saw the sochi cafe and hudson getting sprayed with water for the ad.
- further visual confirmation: 1. connor at the cafe in his hookup outfit 2. the cafe set being taken down ready for the beach scene
DAYS 35 & 36
"[The cottage] was the last two days of shooting. The last scene we shot was Ilya talking about his mom when he’s on my lap." — Hudson
ASSUMPTIONS
DAY 7
in this behind the scenes posted by ksenia [image version] you can see the file number of the recording which has 250429 in it, i.e., the 29th of april 2025. since she was there at the same time as connor and hudson doing their scene, and since she's in the same car used for the scott scene... i'm making the assumption all the car interiors were shot on the same day.
DAY 14
an image from this article contains the date 2025_05_08 in the file name. it's a photo from set while they're filming at ciao bella (for the lunch scenes with shane's parents). the stairwell (for shane's apartment) is located around the side of the building.
DAY 18
christina said while filming the episode six yuna shane scene they "... were getting pummeled with rain. So we had to stop, and we had to come back the next day and shoot it." so i think they would have finished that scene and then also done the rest of the scenes (shane in the sling, watching tv) on day 18.
DAY 20
it seems like they used two consecutive days for filming at each of the residences, so i imagine they probably did the svetlana and watching tv scenes this day. the only scrap of evidence i have is this behind the scenes photo where you can see the camera set up while they're watching the leafs beat the panthers-- which i did check, did happen on may 16th (...but also on the 5th and 7th of may, so not exactly irrefutable).
DAYS 32 & 33
the owner of shane's "apartment" said filming took place there in june. so that slots nicely into these two days-- not really anywhere else it would fit.
CONTRADICTIONS
- the biggest discrepancy i came across was regarding day 17 at the parents' cottage:
christina said, "It was just the four of us for a couple days, so it was a really wonderful experience. It was towards the end of the shoot, and I think we all felt like, "We get to do this, finally.""
and jacob said [on connor eating so much spaghetti], "I do feel it was the end of the shoot and I was like, "Oh, he's carb loading. I don't think he has to take his shirt off again.""
so both of them stating those scenes were near the end of the shoot almost made me throw this whole gifset concept in the bin, but then on the other hand, i'm like... people make mistakes... i could be misinterpreting... why would the camera dates be wrong... but yeah, this one really confused me.
- another one that didn't line up was hudson saying, "The drive when we’re in the car leaving was two weeks into the shoot. So we still had, like, three weeks of shooting left while we’re shooting the drive off. Me picking Ilya up in the “It’s not a Jeep, it’s British, it’s good in the snow” car took place, like, three weeks into shooting."
the photo still (in the carpark) was taken on the 28th of april and there's also a photo of the film slate that looks to be the same date. so i just straight up think he's wrong? which is understandable, he is recalling it 7 months after the fact. it just makes me doubt everything.
- otherwise i feel like things match up with what i've heard, like the hockey being a week towards the end, sophie arriving a month in, tampa bar being the last friday, etc.
here are some other extra details:
- on may 10th hudson posted a bts photo of connor at dundurn castle, meaning the jogging scenes were filmed prior to day 16
- the scenes done at mcmaster university would have been done early may (as filming isn't permitted on campus during april and hudson said he, "hadn't had a chance to train that much yet" (indicating that it was still early on in the shoot)
- robbie's first scene was the art gallery, followed by the smoothie shop, and then the banquet and intimacy later on. his last day was the on ice kiss.
- two full days were spent at the kingfisher
- the sochi cafe scene was shot twice (they weren't happy with how the vfx wall was looking, they changed it into an interior shot)
- another scene they redid was with the hockey cup (producers weren't happy with how small it was previously + kolton said it broke when he lifted it)
- françois's final scene was the cup celebration (he lost his balance and cut his hand on his skate)
it was fun putting all this together. i hope you found it interesting! i tried my best to source everything so i'm not just saying, "trust me bro", but at the same time, please don't take it all as fact. i obviously wasn't there, i'm only looking at dates!
any additional information or corrections are welcome :)
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Dear fellow ESL speakers, be honest: how often do you find yourselves saying "yes" in your native language when speaking English to English native speakers?
Yes, the question is born out of my frustration at all the Heated Rivalry fanfictions that have Ilya saying "da" far too often and in absolutely normal situations. Sorry, but that's not how reverting to your native language works, actually.
I have been known to use my native language in the following situations (but it's Linguistics, really):
spotting a horrifying pest I am mortally afraid of: screams in native language
getting hurt: the equivalent of "ouch" in my mother tongue (sorry but when in pain I can't be expected to translate my instinctive reaction).
counting: if I count in English I focus on the words not the numbers, so it's a pointless exercise.
frustration: you know when you're trying to do something, but for some reason you're not having any success? (looking at you, demonic jar I can't open) That's when the native language comes out. It will be either a persuasive "come on!" or an angry "why won't you open you evil jar" depending on the number of attempts. It will be, invariably, in my native language.
tiredness: I barely remember my own native language when I'm tired. I'll try my best in English but be ready for grammar to go out the window and for a few choice words in my mother tongue, mostly mumbled beyond comprehension.
For balance, I should also add some other situations when I totally use my native language on purpose because of semantics, thus I whole-heartedly approve those usages in fanfiction (but it's still Linguistics, really):
terms of endearment: yes, darling and sweatheart and honey and what-not are fine. However, I will call my loved ones by names my heart resonates with on a deeper level, and that's going to be in my native language.
saying "I love you": now, the English language is awful for expressing love because you people only have ONE VERB, whereas there are MANY different kinds of love. So I will say "I love you " in my mother tongue, it's just better that way, trust me.
idioms that I love so I will teach to my foreign loved ones, with the only purpose of using them in conversation. And also because everyone needs enrichment.
insults: if you've just tried to run me over with your car while I was crossing the street with the PEDESTRIAN GREEN LIGHT ON, you bet I'll have words while you speed away. And those words will be in my native language (let's file this under fear and/or anger).
Wow, this turned out a lot longer than I thought. Sorry not sorry. Do tell me when you use your native language mixed with a foreign one! (And please don't tell me you use it to say "yes" :D)
okay so. it HAS happened to me sometimes that I've answered "yes" or "no" in my first language to people who don't speak it on autopilot, and it IS pretty much the only context where I've ever gotten the language mixed up in conversation with people who only speak english. at this point I think in english, and I find it easier to speak than in my first language, sometimes to the point where I accidentally start ranting in english to people who don't even speak it, because I find it easier to articulate some of my thoughts in it. but pretty much the ONLY context where it happens in the other direction is when an authority figure is asking me a bunch of boring, repetitive yes/no questions meant to get me to confirm to them that indeed, all is well as far as I'm concerned, and they don't need to worry. this is the only context in which I've ever accidentally answered in my first language to someone asking me questions in english, because questionings like that pretty viscerally remind me of conversations with my parents, which I do tend to perform on autopilot and in my first language. so one context in which I DO approve of an ESL character answering "yes" in their first language to a character who doesn't speak it, is if they're so bored by the conversation that they're just going "yeah, mom" without even paying attention.
Dear fellow ESL speakers, be honest: how often do you find yourselves saying "yes" in your native language when speaking English to English native speakers?
Yes, the question is born out of my frustration at all the Heated Rivalry fanfictions that have Ilya saying "da" far too often and in absolutely normal situations. Sorry, but that's not how reverting to your native language works, actually.
I have been known to use my native language in the following situations (but it's Linguistics, really):
spotting a horrifying pest I am mortally afraid of: screams in native language
getting hurt: the equivalent of "ouch" in my mother tongue (sorry but when in pain I can't be expected to translate my instinctive reaction).
counting: if I count in English I focus on the words not the numbers, so it's a pointless exercise.
frustration: you know when you're trying to do something, but for some reason you're not having any success? (looking at you, demonic jar I can't open) That's when the native language comes out. It will be either a persuasive "come on!" or an angry "why won't you open you evil jar" depending on the number of attempts. It will be, invariably, in my native language.
tiredness: I barely remember my own native language when I'm tired. I'll try my best in English but be ready for grammar to go out the window and for a few choice words in my mother tongue, mostly mumbled beyond comprehension.
For balance, I should also add some other situations when I totally use my native language on purpose because of semantics, thus I whole-heartedly approve those usages in fanfiction (but it's still Linguistics, really):
terms of endearment: yes, darling and sweatheart and honey and what-not are fine. However, I will call my loved ones by names my heart resonates with on a deeper level, and that's going to be in my native language.
saying "I love you": now, the English language is awful for expressing love because you people only have ONE VERB, whereas there are MANY different kinds of love. So I will say "I love you " in my mother tongue, it's just better that way, trust me.
idioms that I love so I will teach to my foreign loved ones, with the only purpose of using them in conversation. And also because everyone needs enrichment.
insults: if you've just tried to run me over with your car while I was crossing the street with the PEDESTRIAN GREEN LIGHT ON, you bet I'll have words while you speed away. And those words will be in my native language (let's file this under fear and/or anger).
Wow, this turned out a lot longer than I thought. Sorry not sorry. Do tell me when you use your native language mixed with a foreign one! (And please don't tell me you use it to say "yes" :D)
Out of all the words one could say in one's native language, "yes" it's the one word that's becoming more and more common to say in English, no matter what language one speaks. Which is why Ilya saying "da" so often in fanfics just sounds off :)
A few tags from my original post, because I totally agree with you:
#would you really pick “yes” to say in your native language? #when actually even foreigners will say “yes” in English while speaking in their mother tongue with fellow native speakers
Dear fellow ESL speakers, be honest: how often do you find yourselves saying "yes" in your native language when speaking English to English native speakers?
Yes, the question is born out of my frustration at all the Heated Rivalry fanfictions that have Ilya saying "da" far too often and in absolutely normal situations. Sorry, but that's not how reverting to your native language works, actually.
I have been known to use my native language in the following situations (but it's Linguistics, really):
spotting a horrifying pest I am mortally afraid of: screams in native language
getting hurt: the equivalent of "ouch" in my mother tongue (sorry but when in pain I can't be expected to translate my instinctive reaction).
counting: if I count in English I focus on the words not the numbers, so it's a pointless exercise.
frustration: you know when you're trying to do something, but for some reason you're not having any success? (looking at you, demonic jar I can't open) That's when the native language comes out. It will be either a persuasive "come on!" or an angry "why won't you open you evil jar" depending on the number of attempts. It will be, invariably, in my native language.
tiredness: I barely remember my own native language when I'm tired. I'll try my best in English but be ready for grammar to go out the window and for a few choice words in my mother tongue, mostly mumbled beyond comprehension.
For balance, I should also add some other situations when I totally use my native language on purpose because of semantics, thus I whole-heartedly approve those usages in fanfiction (but it's still Linguistics, really):
terms of endearment: yes, darling and sweatheart and honey and what-not are fine. However, I will call my loved ones by names my heart resonates with on a deeper level, and that's going to be in my native language.
saying "I love you": now, the English language is awful for expressing love because you people only have ONE VERB, whereas there are MANY different kinds of love. So I will say "I love you " in my mother tongue, it's just better that way, trust me.
idioms that I love so I will teach to my foreign loved ones, with the only purpose of using them in conversation. And also because everyone needs enrichment.
insults: if you've just tried to run me over with your car while I was crossing the street with the PEDESTRIAN GREEN LIGHT ON, you bet I'll have words while you speed away. And those words will be in my native language (let's file this under fear and/or anger).
Wow, this turned out a lot longer than I thought. Sorry not sorry. Do tell me when you use your native language mixed with a foreign one! (And please don't tell me you use it to say "yes" :D)
im getting really fucking sick of all this “it gets better!” bullshit. im going to have depression for the rest of my life. it’s not going to “””get better””” fuck you
to everyone reblogging this and saying that you’re the exception, or this will never apply to you, you are not alone. back when I made that first text post I felt the same way. but something I realized in between the first half and second half of this post is that it starts with you. it starts with wanting to be done with the misery. it is so much easier to give in to whatever mental health issues you’re dealing with, especially in a world that is built against us. however it is so worth it to not give in. it is so worth it to do things that make you feel good even though it can feel impossible to start. it’s so worth it to fail at something because at least it means you tried.
getting yourself out of the hole is hard, and can feel damn near impossible at your lowest. but it isn’t impossible. i am living proof of this. nobody is responsible for your emotions but you, and if you want to be happy, you have to create your happiness. do whatever you can to surround yourself with joy. not hedonism, but actual joy. accomplishments, good relationships, engagement in healthy hobbies and habits. it can be hard, there’s no denying it, i still struggle myself sometimes. the reward is so worth it. feeling like you’re the best version of yourself is so worth it.
to quote the queen kali uchis: i know it’s hard, but did you even really try?
Ask yourself: do you really want to not live at all, or do you not want to live the life you currently feel trapped in? Do you simply see no other realistic option? It is not a choice between eternal suffering and death.
That is not to say that things aren’t bad where you are now- odds are, your distress is valid, and things are horrible to get you to this point. But the odds also are that you DO want to live! And keep holding on, because things will never get the chance to change if you don’t live to see it!
Things are really scary and dangerous right now, but what the powers that be WANT us to do is give up. Find a reason to keep living- even if it is simply out of spite. Find something to look forward to, no matter how small: a game or movie coming out, petting more cats/dogs/other animals, anything that helps you keep going.
You’re going through hell right now- but why would you stop in hell? Keep going.
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what do u MEAN no one on here is blogging about ds janie mallowan from death valley!??! like
she's so adorable!!!!!!!! she's welsh, she lives with her mum (ayy represent), she has trauma, she's awkward, her best friend is a fictional detective (& the actor who plays him lol)
she wears the CUTEST outfits in the world and is incapable of sitting on chairs properly she is EVERYTHINGGGG <3 <3
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