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beastliness

[muttering feverishly] I need to chase that man around my gothic manor in a silk nightgown

beastliness

we take turns

beastliness

(via @paperplanechemtrails)

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intrigd-voyagr

one curiousity search on ebay to see if people are still going nuts over beanie babies has led to getting a strong contender for the funniest email ever

petulantworm

When your doctor prescribes you the generic

lakevida

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

lakevida

your majesty what is upppp

paranormal-taters

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

paranormal-taters

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

paranormal-taters

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

whydidisavethistomyphone

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heated-blanket

Every time I see someone say “what is air?” or “trololol” on tumblr, all I think is:

get off tumblr, please.

heated-blanket

you are doing ghost of christmas past torment to me

cleopatraphouse

throwback to the time I got really annoyed at the funko pop men who were coming into my store and bothering me during the pandemic so I made a bunch of memes and fake tweets

trashboat

you can’t do this shit to me for a second i thought i had missed something important

liberalsarecool

Data centers have a very limited lifespan but their consequences will be felt for generations.

viralfrog

yoisthisracist

At my husband's job in a huge party supply store, around Halloween, they use the code "make-up expert in aisle five." They have no make-up experts. It is a very clever code that means "this fucking asshole is seriously asking me which make-up is best for blackface, please send all fifteen black employees to aisle five."

Ok, that’s kind of funny.

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schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

comfynb

here’s a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don’t even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they’re small enough you can use a fork if u don’t have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

tastefullyterrible

So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WjcDfZrPMr0Pw9f5GfEy0aTs2KEx4Pub/view?usp=sharing

animatedamerican

there is a SPITE COOKBOOK now :DDD

sunshinemoonrx

HUH?

Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???

sunshinemoonrx

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

sunshinemoonrx

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

noticesghosts

What the hell

noticesghosts

What is going on

error-404-fuck-not-found

just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website

beemovieerotica

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

vintageandroid

i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.

What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?

It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.

My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict 😂

#probably 9/11

shiftythrifting

Clown old man yaoi plate found at goodwill in south pasadena

what's that mouth do

insecthusbandry

ROBERT OWENNNNNN

More clown yaoi of his darling ocs

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energyprison

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

energyprison

ashoss

id like to introduce some people to my good friend the Keep Reading button

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