My name is Guildenstern and this is Rosencrantz⦠Iām sorry, his name is Guildenstern, and Iām Rosencrantz.

blake kathryn
i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
tumblr dot com
h
šŖ¼
DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Kiana Khansmith
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

@theartofmadeline
Keni
seen from Australia
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@shewhodanced
My name is Guildenstern and this is Rosencrantz⦠Iām sorry, his name is Guildenstern, and Iām Rosencrantz.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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aubreyās endless list of films you should totally watch:
Rozencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead (1990)Ā
GUIL (tired, drained, but still an edge of impatience; over the mime): No ⦠no ⦠not for us, not like that. Dying is not romantic, and death is not a game which will soon be over ⦠Death is not anything ⦠death is not ⦠Itās the absence of presence, nothing more ⦠the endless time of never coming back ⦠a gap you canāt see, and when the wind blows through it, it makes no sound ā¦
BEN BARNES as LOGANĀ DELOS (PART TWO)
I know that you think you have a handle on what this is gonna be. Guns and tits and all that. Mindless shit that I usually enjoy. You have no idea. This place seduces everybody eventually.
reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to āviolating one or more of Tumblrās Community Guidelinesā, but since my wish came true the first time, Iām putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, ITāS BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didnāt think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT āITS WORTH A TRYā SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS
holy fuck, I didnāt expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever itās just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASNāT SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.Ā
I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDNāT THINK IāD GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND IāM HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHITĀ
SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok Iāve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL ITāS AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
GUYS.
HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER
20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.
GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.
I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.
OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG
I WISHED FOR SNK MERCH THE FIRST TIME.Ā I GOT A JACKET.
I WISHED FOR MY GIRLFRIEND THE SECOND TIME.Ā I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
THIS WORKs I WISHED I WAS MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA AND GUESS WHAT GUYS IM MOVING TO NC IN AUGUST I PROMISE U IM NOT LYING
guys ok ur probably thinking that this is all just bs right? WELL I THOUGHT SO TOO BUT I WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD CHAT ME AND HE DID AND IM FREAKING OUT not even kidding i swear on my grampas grave this works
I love this it always works for me yey thank u shooting star :ā)
woah the notes letās hope my wish comes true
pls
you guys. this fucking WORKS. as you can see above, i reblogged this like a month ago and wished for a hamilton ticket. and guess what y'all? iām seeing hamilton in 2 days. ALWAYS TRUST IN WISHES š«
I really wish me and R made a long lasting connection on our camping trip.
Always gotta reblog yo
letās hope this works *
I wish I was My ugw
I wish Iād start loosing weight and didnāt stop until I was at my ugw
second time seeing this, I wish I could loose 15 pounds by the end of next week
i want to lose 5kg before school starts āØš
I want to lose 10kg by the end of the year
i wish i will lose 20 lbs by christmas
I want to see him before 2021.
can we take a second to ponder on the fact that a kids movie did lady armor better than the entire film and comic industry
guess who iām talking about
did you guess? Well youāre fucking WRONG because itās Susan goddamn Pevensie
They gave her light armor, appropriate for a small archer:chainmail, an arm brace, chest plate, and a light skirt she can easily run around murderizing dudes in the face in
her hair is also only loose in the promo pictures because Susan is fucking busy not dying because her hair was flying into her eyeballs so she braids that shit back
her mail shirt is also loose enough that it doesnāt impede her arm movements itās almost like sheās dressed for a fight wow
I like the pinks and purples under her bitchin as hell leather armor here, because you donāt have to be masculine to shoot someone in the goddamn face

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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caspian x + the wind blowing majestically through his hair
@lokiilaufeyson Narnia gifset challenge - Every Narnia Character [5/?]
ā³ Caspian the Tenth
Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo
*looks around*
Is
Is anyone gonna say it
malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite
@lizaleighĀ do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really donāt feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.
ā¦sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: āEXPLAIN.ā Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?
oh geeze, iām kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?
Itās really only a problem if youāre polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. Itās rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway⦠Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.
I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.
So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.
Oh my god guys itās poisonous
It is super poisonous
There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more
Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock
Try this one instead.Ā
malachite literally explodes in water does it not?
I⦠no⦠I think youāre thinking of pure sodium?
Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker
This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because youāre getting all this information on minerals and rocks. Youāre also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock
I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep onĀ being you.
Iām still not sure if I can fuck this rock.
Iām looking into it.
UPDATE:
Today in āIām so sorry, coworkers, itās for Tumblr,ā I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the questionĀ āCan you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?ā
The answer is āItās probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.ā
Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post
This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions
*biologist crashes through the underbrush* Ok so hereās the thing though Malachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days. Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, āCAUSE HERE THEY ARE. ⢠Malachite is not copper oxide. ItāsĀ Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates itās water solubleā thatās how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk ofĀ āmalachiteā isnāt just malachiteā itās a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later. ⢠When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungiā so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organismsĀ that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture).Ā So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++. ⢠Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in waterā but vaginal secretions arenāt just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. Itās also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster. ⢠In other words, the human vaginaĀ dissolves malachite. ⢠I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is. ⢠Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment. ⢠Anyway the key question now isĀ āhow fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?ā Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then thereās nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If itās quick then weāre in trouble. ⢠Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in waterā an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systemsā helpfully saysĀ āThe kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexploredā (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just donāt exist because nobodyās ever needed to know before. So weād better assume itās going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety. ⢠So in best scientific fashion, weāre just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria. ⢠Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE.Ā
That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30°C. Heās got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest weāre going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina youāll get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium. ⢠Recall from above that mostĀ āmalachiteā isnāt actually pure malachite, itās a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates:Ā ā[T]raditional āeyeballā identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. ā¦Ā Thus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 ⦠until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.ā In other words,Ā ādo your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.ā So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina. ⢠Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context ofĀ āso what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?ā So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes.
^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. ⢠Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. Youāre looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And thatās if youāre lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so thatās sensitive to skin contact with copper. ⢠The good news? Biochemically speaking, youāre probably ok to put it in your butt. Itās not as acidic or salty in there, plus thereās a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt. ⢠This all looks like fun and games, but I think itās really interesting that the internetās mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out. ⢠Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flintās water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving. ⢠Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes. ⢠Media frequently reports that the Flint Riverās water isĀ ācorrosive,ā leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This aināt the case. Youād need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. Thatās why Flintās so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didnāt have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve.Ā ā¢Ā Information on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation. ⢠Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this ⢠Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material ⢠Still donāt put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend
OK, I havenāt reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist.Ā
@raremetalupa
I fucking canāt with this post
Fuck Iām at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and Iām probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterdayās night ājust for fun and because I donāt want any bagel to be mad with meā, and todayās afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasnāt let me down yet!
I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!
šš¼
Worth a try lol
i could use some good news or even a good girlĀ
Go lil bagle! Show me your power!
Okii then!
THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG
I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT
wait but whats happening with the bagel tho
Itās burning, as is everything Iāve hoped for whenever Iāve reblogged a post like this
I just kinda wanna watch something burn?
Mood
You guys didnāt listen when I said Bagels hold an ancient and wonderous power.
Bagel time
Fuck Iām at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and Iām probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterdayās night ājust for fun and because I donāt want any bagel to be mad with meā, and todayās afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasnāt let me down yet!
I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!
šš¼
Worth a try lol
i could use some good news or even a good girlĀ
Go lil bagle! Show me your power!
Okii then!
THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG
I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT
wait but whats happening with the bagel tho
Itās burning, as is everything Iāve hoped for whenever Iāve reblogged a post like this
I just kinda wanna watch something burn?
Mood
You guys didnāt listen when I said Bagels hold an ancient and wonderous power.
Bagel time

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Fuck Iām at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and Iām probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterdayās night ājust for fun and because I donāt want any bagel to be mad with meā, and todayās afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasnāt let me down yet!
I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!
šš¼
Worth a try lol
i could use some good news or even a good girlĀ
Go lil bagle! Show me your power!
Okii then!
THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG
I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT
wait but whats happening with the bagel tho
Itās burning, as is everything Iāve hoped for whenever Iāve reblogged a post like this
I just kinda wanna watch something burn?
Mood
You guys didnāt listen when I said Bagels hold an ancient and wonderous power.
Bagel time
Fuck Iām at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and Iām probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterdayās night ājust for fun and because I donāt want any bagel to be mad with meā, and todayās afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasnāt let me down yet!
I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!
šš¼
Worth a try lol
i could use some good news or even a good girlĀ
Go lil bagle! Show me your power!
Okii then!
THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG
I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT
wait but whats happening with the bagel tho
Itās burning, as is everything Iāve hoped for whenever Iāve reblogged a post like this
I just kinda wanna watch something burn?
Mood
You guys didnāt listen when I said Bagels hold an ancient and wonderous power.
Bagel time
that either makes me a very good liar or a very unloveable human being. - sade andria zabala
The Punisher + Undercover Boss: Starkiller Base
and if thereās a reason iām still aliveĀ when so many have died then iām willing to w a i tĀ f o rĀ i t

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
(requested by: anon)
a note to selfĀ