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Is she blaming herself for lying to the public?

This could be like just one of the interpretations. But from this POV, it seems like she is blaming herself for lying. Like an internal debate, because she's bearding and not living her truth.

Some key points:

- bearding (was any of it true? who the fuck was that guy?)

- failed coming out (if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal)

- Taylor™ (you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins, in public, showed me off)

- not being a man (you didn't measure up in any measure of a man)

- living this fake life (you kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing)

- failed coming out again (I would've died for your sins Instead, I just died inside)

- for being gay (and you deserve prison, but you won't get time)