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inflagrante-delicatessen

marcille 🤝 that one dude from green eggs and ham

i will not eat it

inflagrante-delicatessen

I will not eat it in a dungeon,

nor will I have it for a luncheon.

I will not eat these wherever I am.

Laios, please, can we have normal ham?!

stirdrawsandreblaws

my hand slipped

byjove

I bought this expensive ass yogurt as a gift to myself so that I could make little candles in the tiny terracotta pot it comes in and it turns out it is the best, creamiest, most buttery heavenly delicious yogurt I have ever tasted and I’m now addicted

byjove

sometimes things that are expensive are worse but sometimes things that are expensive are astronomically better and that’s where the real problem lies

rattle-my-stars

kitbulls

me: i really dont get why non-floridians lose their fucking shit when they see a beach. it’s just sand and water. who gives a fuck

also me: *sees one (1) mountain* ohohohoohohohohoh holy SHIT holy fuck that’s a big fuCKING ROCK

newtgeiszler

i love this post. i have never related to anything less

dragontatoes

me, grown up in the Cascades range: *sees open plains*

me: oohhoh no. no ba.d . where . are teh rocks. wheres the woter. oh god it’s just drit everywhere for a million miles I need TREES dammit where are my lumber guardians

flippityflapjack

Me, grew up in Nebraska, the Great Plains: *see a forest*

Me: wHy ar e there s.o man y trEes??? They all g.ott so BiG wher is th skY

zarohk

Me: Grows up in Boston, mostly travels to cities and Central America: *travels to the Southwest*

Me: where is everyone? Where is everything? What great calamity flatten this world?

derinthescarletpescatarian

Me: Grows up in rural Australia, travels to Europe: Green? How so much green?? Paddocks aren’t green! Why is it full of green grass like a cartoon??

bunjywunjy

Me: Grew up in the American Midwest *arrives on the coastline of any ocean, sprinting up and down the beach very fast* SHARKS? SHARKS?SHARKS? SHARKS? SHARKS? SHARKS?

gallusrostromegalus

Monkey very excited about exploring new biome.

autisticandroids

many problems are caused by the mindset that the world is divided into good people and bad people and the bad people can be "found out" and removed, eventually leading to a utopia containing only good people.

andromeda3116

"It was much better to imagine men in some smokey room somewhere, made mad and cynical by privilege and power, plotting over brandy. You had to cling to this sort of image, because if you didn't then you might have to face the fact that bad things happened because ordinary people, the kind who brushed the dog and told the children bed time stories, were capable of then going out and doing horrible things to other ordinary people. It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was Us, then what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things."

--Jingo, by Terry Pratchett

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enchantingruinscandy

Putting powdered sugar on the post below

snailtongue

elethart

🥦 Grocery clerks 🥦

quiteaquoteboard

(source)

deadcatwithaflamethrower

Truth is just as hilarious as fiction.

great-tweets

Sigh.

thefortysecond

Important update! His story went viral enough that other paint companies reached out to him and he got a job with a new paint company!!

https://www.tiktok.com/@tonesterpaints/video/6898720259675540742

tsarinajissa

Athens TikToker Tony Piloseno, who’s famous for his paint-mixing videos, revealed Tuesday that he accepted a job at a small Orlando, Florida

dancinbutterfly

Listen. This is what people are talking about when they say that if you gave people a fucking UBI, folks would still work. Even “menial” work is beloved by various people if it’s given the respect it deserves and folks dont need to worry about - um - starving to death and dying of illness?

deadpoolsbottombitch

I legitimately love delivering pizzas! If it were sustainable i wouldn’t mind at all doing it for the rest of my life! One of my best friends absolutely loves cleaning, and the only reason she quit cleaning professionally is that she was sick of the ways she was treated. My stepfather has been a carpenter and construction worker for 30 years, despite being a highly qualified graphic designer and architect, bc the man just fuckin loves construction work. For every “menial/undesireable” job available, there is someone who is happy to work it, if not for the stigma and need to survive. And for the truly awful ones? Like slaughterhouse cleanup, sewer maintenance, roadkill pickup, etc? With UBI they could almost all be mechanized, saving people from having to do grueling and dangerous jobs they really don’t have to do.

purplesaline

There are even people who will do those jobs because they recognize that they need to get done. Those people may not love the job itself but they take great pride in doing something that needs to be done.

People don’t just work for free doing jobs they love. If there’s a niche there will always be someone willing to fill it.

actualaster

I talk shit but I actually don’t genuinely truly HATE retail, what I hate is how people (customers and employers) use, abuse, overwork, and generally treat the employees like shit

If I could have reasonable hours and accommodations for my limitations and be paid enough to survive without being asked to do 25 jobs advertised as 1 job and had UBI to ensure I could leave if it was too much/I was being mistreated/taken advantage of by employers looking to overwork employees to make more money I’d be totally happy to work retail as long as I physically could

best-cranberry

When I worked retail, my favorite part was working in the stock room cuz it’s like playing real life Jenga

lastoneout

Were it not for my disability and if it paid enough and I wasn’t treated like crap I am not kidding I would be happy to work at a movie theater probably for the rest of my life, I loved it that much.

Trust me, for every menial job that “no one would want” there is a person who would LOVE to do it. Forget that “I don’t dream of labor” stuff in a perfect world people would still work because there are people who genuinely enjoy working; It’s being FORCED to do it in shitty conditions for crap pay lest we starve to death or end up unhoused that’s the problem, not work itself.

teenslib

One of the best jobs I ever had was cemetery landscape maintenance.

krakensdottir

It all comes down to this: People don’t mind working. It isn’t work that people dread or are sick of. It’s working conditions.

Pay people well, respect them (and don’t allow customers to disrespect them), accommodate their needs, and people will work their asses off and more often than not do it happily. Work itself is not demeaning or soul-draining. Jobs don’t have to be that way.

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jerseyclown

you guys have got to try living . its ugly but theres no other option

ifafimb

don't wanna

jerseyclown

didnt ask dont care surrender to the tide of life and allow it to wash over you in all its imperfect and profound beauty

turnpikeghosts

goncharov

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires

It felt illegal to laugh at this-

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

You’re going to fucking jail

coughloop

gods greatest punishment was putting 1 trillion cool rocks on earth and no one with eyes big enough to see them all

coughloop

..ive been such a fool

thyrell

thats okay ^-^ the wise man is blessed with knowledge once but the fool is blessed to learn every day

coughloop

*gets scared and throws one of my cool rocks at your fourhead*

thyrell

ow what the hell

devpalmer

military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps

enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it

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little-cereal-draws

It's a good thing Suki taught Sokka feminism in season one bc if she didn't it would've been up to Toph and I don't think Sokka could've survived that lol

viejospellejos

HEY.

garbagefrire

Y'all are missing the best part.

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