DYKE TO SOME FAGGOT TO OTHERS

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

im currently completely losing it about the great stalacpipe organ. are you fucking kidding me they made an organ out of a CAVE???? IT TAKES UP THREE ACRES??? i legit am about to lose it

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

I put a belt buckle on the floor next to my bed, that way I can step on it and hurt my foot when I forget it’s there.

Very smart, good idea

More people need to be thinking two steps ahead like this

haters will see you going to therapy and be like he cant afford sixpenceee heals

Step back everyone. This post requires the delicate touch of an annoying gimmick blog

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

let 👏 actors 👏 have 👏 male 👏 pattern 👏 baldness 👏 again

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #go on xFiles reddit and see the absolute lust walter skinner unlocks in heterosexual genX men its a new level of horny /End ID]

went all the way to the mongolian steppe to escape the new york yankees' "baseball" season

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war