this is me, please help if you can

Breathing. It’s BREATHING.

that is one of the most ominous noises i have ever heard.

wow.

And you people post videos of weird sounds in the woods. I tell you wind chimes are wonderful things.

i am the shyest attention whore ever

I want attention!!! If you’re not busy… And you want to…. Its okay if you don’t

vampires don't need to bathe because they can't sweat or anything but they absolutely get dirty from running through the woods all day. so whenever that happens carlisle lines all the kids up outside and absolutely blasts the shit out of them with the pressure washer like he's trying to get mud off a car

the marble skin ensures they don’t get hurt or anything, but once or twice Alice wasn’t paying attention and didn’t plant her feet and her little body got blown right into a tree

Emmett tries to bite at the water like a dog with a garden hose

The twilight fandom has aged like a fine wine.

not knowing how to respond to messages and forgetting about them for so long that it becomes impossible to respond to them without it being weird is the bane of my socially awkward existence

its the capitalism bruh

This. This is a large part of what “there’s no ethical consumption under late capitalism” means. On top of everything else, when the same company owns both the product you’re boycotting *and* the “organic, free range, fair trade, no prison labor” version of that product, your choice is literally meaningless. Even before you factor in the strong possibility that those labels are lies, you’re still just choosing one prong of a two prong marketing strategy meant to capture 100% of the market. Your objections to their cheaper, less ethical brand are being used to wring more money out of you, money that all goes to the same place. Your morality is being used to exploit you, and they still win.

I love when y’all are realistic 

i want to see the avengers play cards against humanity and i want to see them all slowly realizing that steve has the most fucked up sense of humor out of all of them

Could you imagine being Spock and being raised to think that physical contact is unecessary and illogical and being touch starved your whole life then being around James “Ope let me Slide On Past Ya” Kirk? James “I don’t know what personal space is” Kirk? James Tiberius Kirk?

Imagine being Kirk and knowing about Vulcans going in. You’ve had your warnings, you’ve done your research, and you’re oh so very prepared to keep your hands to yourself. Until there he is. And despite the so very thin cold front, there’s a very warm soul under there, and you forget. Touch after touch goes unnoticed. Maybe Bones says something, maybe it just gets so obvious you’re finally forced to see it, but there it is… the day you realize you never really gave Spock that space and Spock, 5ft personal bubble Spock, leans into you every time.