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EXPECTATIONS
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shark vs the universe

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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
KIROKAZE
d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Interview Vampire Daily
macklin celebrini has autism
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@sforg

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I think about this cake every day
sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious
OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:
When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.
The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?
This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.
I love a botched cake.
one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said
No One Like You
now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"
for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"
I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts
opened up ravelry to look at patterns and the very first thing i saw was
The Garment by Robert Cole
I had to immediately look for myself and I feel like this post needs the addition of the very first line in the pattern description
a Very Important Purchase
Mice! With occupations!

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so "incubus" means someone who lies on top of something, and "succubus" means someone who lies underneath something, and the former also turns up in the word "incubate", which means to lie on top of an egg. To ensure closure we could therefore posit an analogous term "succubate", which would be something like this:
he is succubating.
official linguistics post
they should breed dogs that bark at 1/5th volume and with a deep and soothing resonance that calms the nervous system
call that a subwoofer
*trying to come up with rules for my new society after successfully leading the revolution* why don’t we just repurpose 5e

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my favorite genre of bird picture
A pristine, untouched pool has been discovered 700 feet (213 meters) below ground in Lechuguilla Cave, New Mexico, one of the world’s largest and most famous caves. This “virgin” pool, entirely untouched by humans, lies deep within a cave system renowned for its immense depth and towering chambers.
Scientists have described the pool as “completely pristine,” highlighting the unique bacteria in its waters that are believed to have evolved without any human interference. Surrounded by white frosted rock, the pool has an almost otherworldly appearance. Although its water seems to have a creamy, murky tint, this is merely an optical illusion.
unrestrained summer fun
as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist
years of scientific research

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Loyalty (1869)
— by Briton Rivière
The Great Gatsby