Poke It With A Stick

why get a boyfriend when you can get a pack of really nice pens

mosquitoes had the nerve…the audacity…the unmitigated gall…to come into my home…where i pay the bills…and suck the blood out of my veins…veins i’ve had for 22 years…

once in high school i was walking down the hall at a brisk pace wearing dress pants and boxers and my (home made!! with nylon stockings + condoms + gak) packer just fell out of my leg and rolled down the hall a little ways and thankfully the only other person in that hall at that time was mr. hayes, the weird stoner english/philosophy teacher who rode his bike around the halls sometimes, and he literally just looked at me and said “i HATE when it does that” and walked away

I feel personally attacked

“i’m gonna get what i want” what an entitled asshole

So my boyfriend came out as trans last night and I realized something… back when we first started dating we identified as lesbians, then I came out as trans and consequently realized I’m bisexual, and now I’m in a gay relationship. So what I’m trying to say is that I have actually been LGBT as a singular person. Every single acronym. I have ascended and reached gay nirvana

This is Shakespearian.

I never want to see another post about environmental storytelling.