SevenGraces

many cops make no effort to use alternative communication with Deaf people even after we have identified ourselves as Deaf.

audism is also the fact that our signing is considered threatening and something that warrants murder. audism is the fact that our signing is labeled as gang signs and is used to justify murdering us. (and, for the record, actual gang signs also don't justify murder)

audism is the way Deaf people are accused of lying to "get out of things" when we identify ourselves as Deaf.... which is then used to deny us accommodations like interpreters or written communication.

i also enjoyed how the film showed what everyday violations of consent can look like…media often shows the most obvious, often-dramatized occurrences of it, but this depicted a more common way of it showing up.

bear did indeed take advantage of nikki while she was in a mentally unstable state. he was well aware her consent was compromised. all the while he is very insecure about it, knows what he is doing, becomes aware even that nikki is aware and it is hurting her, continues doing it. i love that this film names this. it even critiques “not like the other girls” anti-feminism through sarah, who sees it as nikki taking advantage of bear…then she ironically tries to take advantage of bear’s vulnerable state herself by coming onto him.

also on a smaller note nikki’s batshit incestuous gorey hansel and gretel story had great prose i enjoyed it. my partner pointed out that before the wish, nikki saw bear as a little brother figure. meaning the hansel and gretel thing very well could have come from real feelings of disgust, like it nearly feels like an incestuous relationship to her.

and the ENDING. a lesser film would have insisted that, in these circumstances where the wish can only be broken if one of them dies, the male lead must survive between the two. but there was no self sacrifice from nikki out of “love”, there was no moment of lucidity or jealousy or rage where she kills herself, bear is forced by the narrative to take full responsibility for what he has done to nikki. what’s more— he reaches for a gun, almost uses it, ultimately decides on overdosing on pills. my partner and i personally think this was intentional commentary on masculinity, by having bear consider, then reject, the way men typically choose suicide in favor of the way women typically choose it. just a fun detail and maybe we’re both batshit.

like that kind of "you didn't need magic, you could've gotten what you want the honest way" dramatic irony can be effective and i see why a lot of writers use it for "be careful what you wish for" plots like these, but i love that Obsession is like, "no. she doesn't like you like that. there is no version of this where you end up dating her, and you need to get over it."

“Hey man, your main character isn’t sympathetic enough, could you fix that?”

Bear is a coward at every turn, yes, but he was kind at heart. He admired Nikki for her generosity. Sarah’s success lit him up for her sake. He was lonely and depressed and struggled with the soft, tender vulnerability at the beginning because every time he showed it he was told it wasn’t manly by Ian AND Nikki.

He wanted love, but he never actually took advantage of Nikki when he thought she was herself.

Throwing the pills up was desperation for life. That’s not cowardly, and I was relieved. I felt sick when I thought we were about to watch him die using the pills that killed his cat, finally giving in to that quiet beast that is suicidality.

???

So her screaming and freaking out after she first kissed him and looked extremely confused isn't a red flag? The number of times she "snapped out of it" and the real Nikki made it clear that she didn't want this?

That time she was asleep and asked him to kill her, and he just makes it all about him ("Is loving me so bad?")

Nah. He 100% raped her, sexually assaulted her, everything. He knew she wasn't herself and he still continued to abuse her.

He was gonna kill himself because he couldn't bear (heh) to live a life without a woman that he only got through force, who didn't even want to be with him.

And I don’t know if this next example counts since it’s from the script but here’s another example of him totally not taking advantage of her

I’m guessing this scene became both the scene where Nikki briefly gains control back during the kiss and screams “WHAT THE FUCK?!” and the scene I just mentioned where they “have sex” before he wakes up and sees her watching him sleep. The only difference is that in the script he’s not even fazed by the real Nikki’s confusion and horror…

- sympathetic, especially in the beginning because he's sad and vulnerable and yearning and also his cat just died

- not an inherently cruel person, in the classic "one dimensional villain" way. He isn't EVIL. At the start of the movie, he is presented as weak willed and cowardly, but not a BAD person. These are flaws but they're understandable flaws and if he made different choices, they wouldn't need to condemn him. His friends Ian and Sarah are mirrors to his moral failings and they reinforce his flaws. None of them are open about their true feelings and they ALL screw Nikki over. (Not quite as badly)

- what the movie does extremely well is present Bear, who starts the movie being more or less sympathetic (more sympathetic to some, less to others—but the worst you can realistically say about him at the START is that he's weak willed and kind of a dick, he isnt EVIL) as descending to the full on completely reprehensible levels of unsympathetic evil via a series of choices he makes

-first is technically agreeing to go out in the first place, even though he did not want to because his cat had just died (but because Nikki represents all his hopes and dreams of salvation, he decides he NEEDS to do this now), then being unable to be honest about his feelings when she directly asks (because he knows the answer and it isnt the one he wants), then making his wish (and it just had to be LOVES ME MORE THAN ANYONE, huh??)

- But he has plausible deniablity for the wish, because he didn't really expect it to come true. Because that's insane, it's just a silly toy. He was being bitter, and a dick, and made a spiteful wish because he knew she did not love him. He didn't expect it would do anything.

- Then, when clearly something is up, he starts to panic and wonder what the fuck is happening if somehow he did this... but he doesnt really believe it. Because again, magic isnt real. Clearly, Nikki is going through something because of her dad, and she was on molly... right? And that's totally fine suddenly because she does seem to like him back, wow!!

- now Not Nikki does a pretty good job of passing as Nikki here, and explaining away her initial weirdness, so Bear still has some plausible deniablity, but he's also clearly overlooking some major red flags because he desperately wants to believe Nikki suddenly returns his feelings. And it's convincing enough, and not yet weird enough, that he can.

- Ian dropping the bomb about her dad not having cancer, and Nikki having told Sarah she sees Bear as a brother like the day everything happened is the major turning point in my eyes. You can see it on Bear's face when he gets back to the table. He knows, he knows something is really wrong. And when Nikki freaks the hell out and makes a scene, and he calmly tells her "it doesn't bother me at all" or whatever? Thats the moment he really makes his choice, with full knowledge of what he's doing. Some part of him is clearly still clinging to the idea that this is Nikki and she loves him, but he KNOWS something is wrong and it's something he did to her and he straight up says he doesn't care. The next scene is them having sex and the way she's staring off in the distance blankly is so chilling... the point is pretty clear.

- it's not as if some switch has flicked and he's become some suddenly evil monster, but through these series of choices we begin to gain a better understanding of who Bear is and the value that he's really placed on Nikki. Which is that for all these years he's "loved" her, it clearly wasnt about her at all. Because he doesnt have her now and it doesnt bother him at all, so long as he can pretend.

- everything else that happens is just him trying to maintain that illusion and making worse and worse choices as Not Nikki struggles with the fact that she knows that he knows something is wrong now. And the more he sees the real her and turns away the harder it is to pretend

Bear is very much the villain of the movie, and as much as he's a victim, he's a victim of himself. He did all of this, he wished for it because he couldn't accept the truth and move on. But because he's presented in a very realistic way, I think many people are inclined to continue to view him more sympathetically than he deserves.

But in real life, "villains" very rarely act the way the do in movies. You rarely get some cold, mustache twirling monster who smiles while he rants about his plan to feed orphans to a machine that will turn them into toxic chemicals that will poison the environment but make him lots of money.

Last week i was looking into one of my teen's homework when I noticed she was writing words she "wasn't supposed to know" in english (like "furthermore", for example. They only know very intermediary english) I got a bit mad for a second. I wear an "anti-AI" button all the time, i even told them before why i was anti-AI, yet she didn't listen to me and thought she could get away with it... But i decided to keep it cool because i didn't know why she would do this, since she never did.

Okay, one week after, this Wednesday, it was time for their class again and, when she arrived, i told her to come to my desk and asked her: "what is furthermore?" She went pale when she noticed the paper in my hands. I asked again: "darling, what is furthermore?" Then, she shuttered: "I don't know, teacher. I'm sorry, I had to ask Gemini because I had no time..." then I sat her down, she was clearly upset (she is just 13) and I asked her what happened. "I didn't have any time left because of my exams and there were too many units to go through. So I asked my mom to help me and she told me to use ChatGPT but I asked google instead." Okay. So I looked into her eyes and told her it was okay, that she didn't need to be upset, but she would have to re-do that paper and bring it back to me by the next week. I told her she didn't need google or gpt to do her work, because she got a very high score at her english exam (both at school and at the course). She got right back on her feet and we started class as normal.

If you care about Animal Cruelty in Factory Farms, you need to get legislation passed. It must become a crime to mistreat animals in those ways, and when malfeasances occurs, the onus of responsibility for those crimes must fall upon wealthy shoulders. That, also, requires legislation. It requires regulations, and regulators.

The largest source of Microplastics is wear and tear on automobile tires. It doesn’t matter what brand of shampoo you buy. It doesn’t matter which company you support with your dollar. The issue of Public Transit is too large-scale to be handled at anything less than the municipal level.

It’s not enough to just not participate in society

If you want the world to Change, you must leverage the mechanisms of political power.