I think the satisfaction I felt after this episode had to do with some long awaited balance. And obviously I had many thoughts. Long post ahead.
I had a thought last week; yes, EwB is easily sliding into my top GLs but I wish it told us more about Lal. I think anyone could give you a solid rundown of Wine’s issues at this point. Lal’s main struggle has been how to get past Wine’s walls, while figuring out how to best take care of her. I was in a place of acceptance that we might stay more surface-level with Lal, just focusing on how she helps Wine. It would not be the first time I wanted more from character development in a GL. Wine would do the majority of the growth, but I would still love it! Look at her!
But Lal. Oh Lal.
My girl has been hailed as the greenest of green flags. A savior of sorts. And, you know, she is pretty great. Supportive. Takes accountability. Respects boundaries. Genuinely cares about people. She is just what Wine needs, and she can help her heal and be happy.
However…
Now that we get so much more about Lal, in just a few scenes, we see that there’s more to how “good” she is.
Supportive…to the point of self-sacrifice.
Takes accountability…even when it’s not hers to take accountability for.
Respects boundaries…but can’t set them for herself.
Genuinely cares about people…cannot apply the same care to herself.
While Wine is walled off to be self-protective, Lal is just trying to be enough; to be worthy of protection. But she can’t keep her metaphorical cup filled. She keeps emptying it out for other people who can’t, or won’t, refill it. She won’t even tell them it needs to be filled.
She keeps her needs locked up to deal with, on her own. That can be a pretty lonely place to be. I mean, how many times has she said some version of the phrase “I want to handle it by myself”.
Maybe Lal needs a little saving too.
Lal, while a social butterfly, has only one real, personal friend. (Compared to Wine’s robust 3). She isn’t even fully honest with him until she’s forced to be. She doesn’t tell her mom she’s sick. She always downplays her illnesses.
In hindsight, I like that we haven’t seen sat much of Lal’s weakness, up until now. We get glimpses, but nothing more. Because that’s how she organizes her life. Push through, keep going, work late nights, develop better systems, hide the pain or discomfort…eventually, the damn is likely to break, all at once.
And that’s where we get to see the balance that exists between Lal and Wine. Their strengths compliment each other. It started with physical needs, and it grew into more.
Wine uses the tools she has built her walls with, effectively, and destroys the woman who exploited Lal.
Lal is persistently friendly and has a near-compulsion to meet the needs and expectations of others. She repurposes it to break down Wine’s walls and take care of her.
They fit together. Their own unhealthy habits turn into tools of care for each other.
Lal’s reaction to being supported, being SEEN, by Wine is so telling (and wonderfully acted). As is Wine’s reaction to being told she deserves love. It can be an intense relief, to be weak in front of someone and have it be okay.
Hooking up is great, but have you ever been truly seen and understood by another person?!?? They deserve this!!
