slob confessional

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need a partner to sink into lazy, slovenly domesticity with. we start off prim and polite, too shy to even burp around each other in case that's too gross. holding in farts despite how uncomfortable it is, waiting until we get home before finally relaxing. but over time, the distance we need to revert back into our basest self decreases. soon, my partner only waits until my front door is closed before parting one cheek to vent their gas into the open air, sighing heavily as their stomach ache eases instantly. soon, I only wait until my partner leaves the room before I'm squeezing out a deep, muffled blast into their couch cushion, with only 90% certainty that they can't hear. soon, we both allow small burps while we eat, neither of us commenting as those eruptions grow louder and more relieving every time we catch up.

ive started pissing everywhere in my house. not like. everywhere everywhere. i still live with my family. but at night when i gotta go ill sometimes go in a corner of the garage or between the cushions of the couch. sometimes ill even piss in places i should during the day. theres a fake potted plant in the bathroom i sometimes use as a urinal. i wish i could piss on every surface of my house

Oof 😖

Woke up this morning and immediately let out one of the biggest, nastiest, bubbliest farts I have ripped in a longggggg time 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 and then immediately after I burped lowkey like three times because my morning gas is always insane - 🥵 anon

gf started ripping loud bubbly farts in my face whenever she gets the chance, its so hot... staring at a girl's ass right before she decides to let it rip in ur face >>>

one of my favorite things about living with my girlfriend is how i get to be subjected to all of her most gassy days. today was one of those days :) i was talking to her about something earlier, and she interrupted me by hiking her leg up and launching a fart at me >_< she belched in my face multiple times (i love trying to identify what her burps smell like) and farted on me a bunch too. safe to say that i am intimately familiar with the smell of her farts by this point haha we also had a date recently where we were out in public and she farted loudly on me like 3-5 times. she's soooo shameless about gassing me out, and its hot. i wish so badly it was something i could gush to all my friends about aughhh - 🧋

Instead of going to the bathroom, I just stood on a pile of dirty laundry and pissed myself while writing gross smut that can never see the light of day on my phone. Do I get a prize? (I did this wearing pyjamas that I soaked in piss before putting on. I don’t know what got i to me tbh)

So I potentially have something akin to GERD that makes me burp a lot. Like constant tiny burps, or massive, rolling burps that I've only heard in places like the Simpsons. They're especially bad after having eaten certain things like brussel sprouts, or eating too much (which is very easy for me to accidentally do). I don't have a burp kink so I sent this to you so ONE of us could maybe have a good time, so I hope you enjoy <3

i was peeing at the club and i got a little bit on my hand so i wiped it off with some toilet paper and i didn't wash my hands

when i was in college my friends and i were hanging out and one of them said she had an upset stomach and spent a little while in the bathroom. when she was done, i went ahead and used the bathroom too. there was a mild stench, and i noticed that the sink was bone-dry, meaning she didn't wash her hands after she took a smelly dump. it was so hot that i needed to stroke my shit when i got back to my apartment. there was also one time where we were in stalls beside each other in a public bathroom and she took a fat piss, flushed, and exited the bathroom without washing her hands or wiping. i love girls who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom and i wish there was a specific term for that kink niche.

i was at a music festival and at the venue people outside the venue were complaining that there wasn't any toilet paper in the (single occupancy) bathroom. i thought it was so hot that there were people who potentially took a shit in there and had no choice but to pull their pants up without wiping and leave skidmarks in their underwear. i wished at that moment that i had to take a messy dump since all i would've had on me to wipe with were a couple of small tissues that definitely wouldn't have gotten the job done. unfortunately for me my bowels were empty and they refilled the toilet paper pretty quickly.

i love love love hopping up on the bathroom counter and pissing in the sink ❤️ then when i get down i let my sticky cunt rub all over the counter around the sink it's so fun and i love leaving wet spots for my housemates to clean up

I’m not a very gassy person naturally. Like at all. I don’t get gas from things. I also only very recently discovered that I like gas and stuff, so I haven’t really been looking for things that make me gassy before. But like just the other day I finally found it… energy drinks… shsjdhhshd It makes my stomach rumble and now I can let out big hiccuping burps wheneverrr…. It’s wonderful really

Been taking some fiber gummy supplements lately (maybe overdosing for fun) and the past few days my gut has been constantly gurgling and grumbling. I’ve been ripping thick, bassy, rank, healthy farts several times an hour and its sooo hot 🤤 I love feeling my belly work through all the fiber and water I put in her every day, the gurgles and grumbles always sound like a draining bathtub right before I have to let one go, and I woke up and immediately ripped a 4 second long fart that made my belly deflate a little. As I’m writing this, I just took a very gassy shower and now I’m about to eat breakfast and take more fiber to get my belly going again for my (very physically busy) day at work. I was carrying some boxes upstairs the other day and a HUGE fart slipped out of me completely on accident, would be a shame if that happened again today 🥰

I had to close my mouth to muffle the burps and fart into a pillow to muffle the sound to answer your question - 🥵 anon