Only Touch In Slow-mo

Wine being shocked and delighted by Lal

Enemies with Benefits

Inebriated Wine cannot turn off the heart eyes😍

Episode 1 / Episode 2 / Episode 5

Lal trying to keep up with Proud

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

So at this point in the story, 4 episodes in, Lal is clearly developing feelings. Wine is trying to play it cool. She does very casual, friends-with-benefits things. Like thinking of Lal at the market and buying her a plant…

Or feeding her ramyon on the roof under the moonlight.

But I think we do get some insight into why Wine may or may not have certain feelings, and why she may not be ready to recognize and admit them. And, surprise surprise, it really does make perfect sense.

On brand with this show, it starts at work. Lal has a specific set of skills that make her really good at her job, which are on display in episode 4 in different contexts.

You could call it manipulation if you wanted, and you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong, at least in part.

A more generous way to phrase it might be that she understands how to spot what people care about and use that information to create mutually beneficial, or symbiotic, relationships.

It makes her really good at being part of a team and creating a positive environment. She excels at inspiring people. (Bas would probably follow her into an actual battle).

What I find interesting is the alternative version of these manipulation skills we are shown in the only other person in the show that has had any kind romantic relationship with Wine: New.

New is…friendly? Nice? It’s harder to paint his skills and actions as anything other than manipulative, in the traditional sense of the word. He smiles, he says things pleasantly, he can assess what (powerful) people value, and creates a sense of obligation to the “team”.

However, while he invokes a sense of loyalty to the team, he does not care about the team. He cares about himself, and what the team can do for him. He’s overly concerned about image and appearance, because they are useful to getting what he wants. His friendliness and smiles are not genuine, they are purely functional. His understanding of people is superficial and materialistic. The moment he is hurt, embarrassed, or caught in his lies, he looks for who he can blame and how he can threaten his way out of it. He occasionally finds a mutually beneficial solution, but it’s not a lasting relationship. There is no symbiosis.

Lal is the opposite, which is likely an intentional part of the story. Lal understands people. She seems to genuinely like people. It is a consistent habit for her to see the best in people. She recognizes what they are passionate about; what they love. She connects with them.

In fact, Lal’s penchant for unconditional positive regard for others is probably a big part of why Lal was able to get past Wine’s defenses in the first place. She assumes the best about people until proven otherwise (even New!). She continues to pursue interactions with Wine, even when she is constantly rebuffed.

This tendency gives her an opportunity to know Wine more than most people at work. Then we get to watch how naturally she tunes into what Wine cares about; what lights her up. She doesn’t use it to manipulate anything, but to simply enjoy seeing a version of Wine that others don’t get to.

At the same time, I think it’s safe to assume that Wine is drawn to these friendly, socially adept qualities. She’s semi-dated both Lal and New, which means there was some sort of attraction to New at some point, as well. My assumption is that it started with that friendliness.

Despite Wine being a quick learner, these qualities are something Wine doesn’t seem to feel comfortable, or interested, in taking on herself. She emulates Lal’s carefree demeanor on occasion. She softens up on rules. She even attempts to out-alpha an alpha male, as she has seen Lal do. But we never really see her be more extroverted. We never see her flattering anyone. Not even Lal. That’s just not who Wine is.

I don’t think those ways of interacting are something that Wine fully understands. It may even be something she doesn’t really trust initially, given what we know about her experience with Korn, who was also nice at first and could charm people. Having been through what she has, it would be understandable to think “nice” people are manipulative by nature; they have an angle. Or they are pretending.

Wine is straightforward and quiet at work. She doesn’t smile without meaning it. She’s more likely to not say anything than she is to lie or fake a laugh with you. She’s genuinely just an introverted, honest and direct person. If that’s who she is comfortable being, she doesn’t need to change.

But, in Lal, Wine starts to see an extroverted, honest, and direct person. She is able to understand something that has eluded her up to this point: being friendly and kind and connected to people that you work with can actually be fun and comfortable. It is not necessarily a risky, harmful process. It can be safe, with the right people. And while she may not be interested in embodying those characteristics herself, she clearly grows to appreciate them in Lal. That’s where we can see this balance between them. They compliment each other in these broad and fundamental ways.

Wine actually trusts that Lal is genuinely a good person.

Wine sees Lal use skills she, herself, could never have, in order to help make situations better for people she cares about.

Lal is literally willing take on the challenge of helping Wine with her problems without even being asked.

When Lal “uses her skills” on Wine, like convincing her to stay at her apartment, they both know what’s happening. They ultimately have the same goals. There’s very little deceit and no real manipulation. It’s playful and fun. Because they are a team.

How could you see anyone celebrate with the dorkiest dance imaginable at the prospect of getting to spend more time with you and think they had any kind of malice, and were not just an adorable loser.

But Wine is not ready for the truth.

This relationship comes with power and Wine doesn’t want that. Any imperfections Wine has in managing her feelings and communicating properly aren’t just possibly embarrassing and hurtful for her. They can, and do, actually harm the person she cares about.

Every time Lal apologizes to Wine, after Wine has snapped at Lal, you can see the regret on Wine’s face. Wine doesn’t normally let people this close. She doesn’t allow an opportunity for people to care about her that much. She avoids the messiness inherent in intimate relationships. For Wine, if it’s not a real relationship, it’s not as risky.

But labels don’t make the relationship. That’s a big takeaway from the whole series.

These two don’t actually date, in a mutually agreed upon way, until the last episode. But every member of the audience can see, even at this point, that they are dating. In practice, that is what is happening. Nothing that they do seems casual or detached. They are already a unit. They already care. Their connection is easy. It feels natural and organic. Wine is feeling more and overthinking less. She can’t stop this process unless she were willing to stop what they are doing. She’s not.

They have already become a team at work, despite their bickering. They actually work well together. Becoming a team outside of work happens so naturally that neither of them noticed that it’s already happened. It just makes sense. Being able to fight and solve problems, and still come back together and communicate…that is a vital part of a relationship. One that takes many people years to learn, if they ever do. Lal and Wine just…do it.

The whole rest of the show is these two realizing, in slow motion, what the rest of us can already sense.

I want to read the 7th part of your EWB series and Tumblr has blocked it or something for weird reasons , how should I read , I want it sooo bad , I've been waiting for this for dayyyyys .

It’s unblocked now! They flagged it for possible sexually explicit content, even thought there was none? I appealed and they immediately fixed it.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

I enjoy watching Lal and Wine learning to communicate. I feel like, to some extent, the entire show is about communication. There is no other way to nurture a relationship or understand each other.

Episode 3 is when you can really see the beginning of their communication patterns forming.

Lal struggles right off the bat to figure out how to ask for what she wants. This makes sense, particularly knowing what we learn about her character later on. When you focus so much on what others want, it becomes more difficult to be in tune with what you want.

She is obviously worried about how Wine will feel about her message, but also…

Even if Lal didn’t have feelings (which she obviously does) doing something just because she wants to? Much less saying that’s what she wants? Without feeling overwhelmed by being shy? She can barely even tell anyone at the tree planning event that she is in pain and take rest for herself.

Wine is obviously learning too, but Wine is a little more complicated.

Wine is not just learning to communicate…she is learning what she is actually feeling. Her feelings for Lal seem to confuse and surprise the hell out of her. It doesn’t seem like she has any basis for understanding them and it wierds her out.

There will be much more to say about Wine’s growing understanding of her feelings in later posts, because that’s not resolved until much later.

But in this episode, foundations are being set. The whole conversation about stickers is a great indication of how they work things out throughout the show. Someone (usually Lal) brings up an issue. They both talk, they both listen. Misunderstandings are clarified. Lal doesn’t let Wine avoid the questions. There is some greater understanding, on Wine’s part, of the fact that Lal is actually just as clueless as Wine is.

They literally decide on their first official system of communication. It’s small, but it’s also theirs and theirs alone.

The importance of that cannot be overstated. Anyone who has had inside jokes, shorthand between family, or even regular meme-only communication with friends can understand how this serves as a strong binding force in relationships. It helps us all to navigate busy lives and uncomfortable topics, but still feel close.

They have a few misunderstanding in this episode. But they always come back, and they get on the same page. Because the nitty gritty of verbal communication is tricky and tough and takes practice, but the nonverbal is instinctual in a lot of ways, and keeps them bound together so that that can keep practicing.

That non-verbal rapport that keeps them afloat through this early point in their relationship is likely because of their Friends with Benefits status. They’ve had sex multiple times now. Presumably, it’s been good sex. They are attracted to each other. They watch each other.

They are attuned to each other. Verbal communication is necessary but sensing what another person is feeling; that is a bond that’s harder to break and easier to build on.

Plus, the parameters of their relationship means that there are fun, sexy things to communicate about, too. Anything that makes learning fun is going to help you learn!

They continue to misunderstand and have conflict going forward.

But the point is not to never misunderstand, or disagree, or even fight. But if you have someone you feel comfortable talking to, who you hold hands with under a blanket after you successfully make up from a fight…it’s hard to worry much about what’s coming next.

Enemies with Benefits, episode 3

Enemies with Benefits, episode 3

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

In episode 2, we get to see an interesting phase of development in Lal and Wine’s relationship. I’ll call it Wine Watching Lal being Lal.

At this point they are considering an agreement; a promise of what their relationship will be going forward.

Well…Wine is considering it. Lal was on board almost immediately.

This pending agreement is important, but, if we’re staying on theme here, looking at what actually drives the growth and development of their relationship at this point…I’d say half of it is just proximity. They have a shared environment where they are both required to be: work.

Regardless of what happens, they have a relationship just by virtue of working together. They are already required to interact no matter what they label that relationship as.

But proximity alone wouldn’t do it.

It’s time to mention the✨ chemistry✨. Because the level of chemistry in this show is well-known, but it’s not just a perk…it’s central to the story. I’d argue the story would not work if it were less convincing. (You could say this about many GLs but I think it’s particularly true here).

The proximity combined with the catalyst of that level of chemistry, is central to how this relationship develops. And realistic to how a lot of real relationships start. The acting and the apparent ease of that pairing makes the story make sense.

Proximity + chemistry = whatever the hell is happening here

Through the episode you can watch that chemical reaction become something.

In the beginning of this negotiation, they both exhibit some amount of desire for the relationship. Wine suggests the concept of FwB, but Lal is the main voice of the pro-friends-with-benefits lobby. Wine backtracks, nervous about the risk to her job. She doesn’t say it, but from what we find out later, she’s likely also a bit anxious about what Lal’s actual intentions are.

Lal doesn’t argue, doesn’t suggest Wine value her job less or worry less. Lal is not even the one to suggest Wine give it more thought. Lal just accepts Wine’s decision.

In fact, Lal is processing it like a rejection, trying to avoid Wine and not think about her.

Another example of why the environment matters. If they were not coworkers, this may be the end. Wine would have no access to any information outside of her own anxiety, her own expectations and her own experiences. Her worry would probably win out. And Lal would absolutely not push her. The chemistry has no space to react.

Enter —> forced cooperate bonding.

Luckily, they are required to be together and, almost immediately, there is that spark. That chemistry feels automatic; instinctual; inevitable. They are, simply put, drawn each other, and Wine is in denial about it.

But this attraction explains why Lal always seems to be there everytime Wine is cornered. It’s what makes Wine seek out Lal with her eyes and watch her just…be herself. Lal is sociable, she’s encouraging, shes confident. Shes fun. AND Lal actually spends most of her time making sure Wine is happy having fun.

I’ve written before about the bowling alley scene because it’s my favorite, but it’s also more evidence of Lal being the opposite of Wine’s fears. She is not pushy, she’s not pressuring her to drink, and she’s also not blaming Wine in anyway for setting a boundary with her. She seems happy just hanging out with Wine. Existing, as Lal and Wine, together.

Wine is getting evidence that contradicts her worst assumptions about people pursuing her.

Wine being allowed to exist without expectations also allows her the comfort to challenge Lal; to push back. Not to push her away, but playfully banter with a point.

Sometimes it’s about a silly things, sometimes there’s underlying implications about how Lal deals with situations…

It’s honest and actually challenges Lal (an early sign of the deepening of the relationship), but it’s also fun and flirty and teasing. That initial spark, regardless of what they want to call their relationship, has already become a planted seed that is starting to sprout. As much as Wine wants to think it through and consider all the risks and possible outcomes…well, the toothpaste can’t go back in the tube, as they say.

Wines walls are already down a little. She let Lal in just a bit, got a taste of that feeling, and she can’t seem to maintain the same distance, both because of the obligatory participation and…she doesn’t seem to want to.

By the end of the episode she feels confident that this FwB relationship may be worth the risk, even if she doesn’t really know what she’s doing.

And yes, the main stated “benefit” is sex. But really, it seems like Wine just wants to get to be Wine. And watch Lal be Lal.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

So I’m going out of order now, but I was thinking about the scene where Lal and Wine both express their frustration with the Tree-Planting-PR-charade, and it occurred to me that you can see many of their anxieties about their relationship reflected in their complaints.

Lal is distressed because she was going to get to see something she planted, with her own hands, grow. But then she finds out it was a show. It served a specific purpose and it ultimately made no lasting impact.

It makes me think of this.

Lal in that first moment, the morning after they first slept together. She’s got her hopes all the way up. She’s eager to show affection to Wine. She’s looks almost as excited as she looks crushed a few moments later finding out that Wine doesn’t want the thing between them to go any further.

Even early on, Lal was sold on whatever Wine was willing to offer. Just to experience it. She seemed happy to share in whatever she could with Wine and see what happened; maybe see something grow. But she never wants to lose it entirely.

Meanwhile, Wine expresses annoyance at no one considering risks.

How will this impact the environment? The things that live and grow here may be threatened. Things that should be able to be safe and thrive.

And I think about how the entire second episode was Wine taking time to think, to consider possible consequences, to sort out if she could trust Lal; if she could risk being friends with benefits. Given what she’s been through, it makes sense. Why risk what has kept her safe and successful at work?

Throughout the show, she thinks of scrapping the whole relationship between them more than once because the risks feel too big. Even after they agree to become friends with benefits, she works so hard to not get attached…or at least not let Lal know she’s attached. It makes her feel too vulnerable.

Lal values Wine so much that she wants to have whatever Wine can give and she doesn’t think much past that. In turn, it makes it easy for Lal to give Wine all the time and space she needs to figure out what she wants.

That’s why it works. They allow each other to do what they want, and see what works for both of them. They don’t make promises they can’t keep. But they do care for each other and learn about each others needs. And that’s all most things need to grow.

Technically telling the truth 🤷‍♀️

Enemies with Benefits

Lal’s confusion from her one-track mind 🧠😛🙃

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

Maybe four posts for just the first episode is excessive? But it’s also unsurprising. This episode really laid a solid foundation for the characters, and their relationship, for the rest of the series. We have a good sense of who they are and their individual and relationship growth already has a direction.

I love this next part, and more than for the obvious reasons. These two have unlocked a new aspect of their dynamic…Lal is as kind as ever, but Wine seems more accepting of it. Maybe starting to believe that Lal is truly just nice.

And, maybe even better, they show some comfort teasing each other. And it, unsurprisingly, comes very naturally to both of them. (And you really can’t deny, this level of chemistry between Jan and JingJing sells this dynamic so well. Seriously. They are so good)

And then, it’s pure, unadulterated flirting. From Wine, of all people. But it would have to be Wine, because Lal seems to be in denial that it is happening until the end. Again, the conditions are just right for something to take root in this moment.

Interestingly, though, Wine seems to be voicing some thoughts that have already been brewing up to this point. Wine has seemed a bit envious at times. She’s sees Lal as being sociable and friendly and well-liked. Meanwhile, Wine has to stay behind her walls and keep her friendliness in check at work just to feel safe and secure.

I mean just look at the difference a few hours makes..

Then:

And now:

By letting herself admit the she’s attracted to Lal, the emotion tied to those thoughts has shifted as well. And it’s definitely not envy anymore.

And of course we get to see the early examples of Lal being the respectful green flag she is.

We know what happens next. They both enjoy their evening.

Then the morning comes.

And sweet Lal. It’s already clear that she’s catching feelings, and if Wine had not reacted the way she did, Lal probably would have realized those feelings a lot sooner. Because Lal is much more in tune with her emotions; she lets herself feel and can usually express those feelings reasonably well.

But Wine does not understand those things. All she knows is that she doesn’t want this to be the last time. She is also confused (and probably scared) of what actually being with someone might entail. And so, in a rare compulsive moment, she gets this whole thing started.

Getting comfort 🥰🥰

Enemies with Benefits

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

Obviously, near the end of episode 1, things take a turn.

Wine continues to be standoffish and Lal continues to try, and fail, to bond in any way.

To me, if they both went home here, that might be where it ends. Lal would never cross a line at this point with Wine and Wine would probably keep telling herself that Lal is annoying and she doesn’t like her.

But alas. The next moment determines their trajectory.

Lal helps Wine with our first round of creepy men in the show, who are basically trying to pour drinks down Wine’s throat and react like cartoon wolves when wine unbuttons her top button. The off-the-cuff plan is to drench her in beer, obviously. Then get her out of there.

I think it’s important to note here: Lal is not actually saving Wine. Wine points out that she’s been spitting out drinks. She makes it a point to say that she can take care of herself. And Lal believes her.

Wine does not need Lal to save her. Wine does not need Lal at all. Not really.

She wants Lal.

This moment is not about showing Wine as weak or needing help. This moment is about showing who Lal is.

It’s about Wine actually seeing the kind of person Lal is.

Lal is someone who is, yes, very reckless at times. But she’s also someone whose recklessness extends to seeing a woman in a weird situation and stepping in, right away, without thinking.

It feels obvious that after Wine sees this from Lal, we get the first genuinely nice conversation they’ve had. We get to see the insane chemistry in these small, subtle moments. Especially from Wine.

Part 1 /Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

After the initial meeting, there are three scenes in particular that showcase the dynamic becoming more complex.

First, after Lal has accepted a (self-imposed) challenge to create work that is above reproach, she is smacked back down to earth, by Wine of course, but also by Lal’s own tunnel-vision-fueled carelessness.

The reason I love this scene is because Wine is loving it. LOOK AT HER! (JJ really nails this moment for me).

Wine never says much at work without an actual legitimate reason. She’s used to being right. But I highly doubt she enjoys giving critical feedback to anyone else this much.

It makes it even more intriguing when a different issue arises and we get to see two things:

1. We get to see Lal return some snark. This is fantastic because she’s so freaking nice and friendly all the time at work, even when she’s being talked down to. She needs to be more mean assertive sometimes. Guess who brings it out in her. (Note: this is definitely not assertive. Much more passive aggressive, but my point stands! She’s letting herself get angry!)

2. We get to see Wine have some kind of reaction to how her words affect someone else (ie. Lal). I feel like she was trying to break Lal’s sunny disposition…maybe not consciously, but you could tell Lal’s continuous optimism annoys her. But when it happened…and she experiences Lal’s version of rude…

It doesn’t feel good. That much you can see.

It’s a natural consequence of the harsh communication Wine uses at work that people are put off. That’s the point right? Don’t get close or misunderstood. Don’t put yourself in a vulnerable position to misunderstand or endanger your job. Be respected. Some fear is not bad either.

It worked right? But guess who the first person to make her question that way of doing things is?

Part of me thinks that is why she was mad at Lal after the elevator incident. Lal didn’t do anything in the elevator but when she tried to apologize…

Even though she apparently was “cool about it” with Numnim and Bos? There is already something germinating between them and both of the have no clue what is happening.

This is where it feels real. There’s a spark, but you can actually see why it ignited. They show it to us through these interactions and these performances; even just the interpretations of the characters. Lal and Wine challenge each other and they are starting to adapt to each other, in the work environment at least.