Unrealistic Fantasies

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

lets see if this works

pls Roger

If nothing else I must reblog for the cuteness of this seapuff.

If obama was speaking I’d do the same thing

I’ve never seen Russian cursive and now I can’t stop laughing. 

This kind of thing is why cursive is a horrible idea.

My eyes….

i guess their writing looks like they were rushin

STOP

HOW MANY PEOPLE WORK THERE OMG

Sometimes i forget scallops swim like this its hilarious

I THOUGHT THAT ONLY HAPPENED ON SPONGEBOB

J U N I O R

I often forget that the creator of Spongebob was actually a marine biologist at one point.

letskiss-alot

GOOD CONTENT TUMBLR

People now are like, “Your right to free speech doesn’t mean you can express an offensive opinion” Like what the fuck does right to free speech mean, then?

C3PO YOU FUCKER

I have a new favorite Star Wars moment.

today at work a man brought a pug in on a leash and that pug was so excited and happy to see me it was as if we were old friends who havent been in contact in 7 years i felt so loved in that moment

today a bassett hound came in and wagged her tail so furiously all of her loose skin started to jiggle and she was so pumped to see me i want more dogs to come into my store they make my life whole and worthwhile

I’m so glad this came back cause a golden retriever named Milly came in today who put her paws on my register counter and wanted to say hi to me and I loved her so much and I scratched her ears and she gave me that classic dopey dog smile 

yesterday a girl came in with her boyfriend and in her hand was a tiny tan colored dog that she told me was a chihuahua/pekingese mix and he had a severe underbite and one little canine tooth was poking out and his ears were like bent at the tips and i immediately commented on how amazing he was and she goes omg thanks do you wanna pet him and i was like there is literally nothing more i want to do while being on the clock right now than to pet this incredible tiny dog and he was so sweet and licked my hand and his name was spike 

yesterday these people came in and put a blanket into one of our shopping baskets and it started to move and i was like omg whats in there and they set it down on the counter and the blanket kept moving and the suspense was so good like is it gonna be a cat is it gonna be a ferret maybe a lizard and then the smallest chihuahua ive ever seen in my life popped her little head out and licked my finger and i died 

A baby german shepherd named Jonathan came in tonight and since i was on the sales floor and not behind a counter i say to the owner omg can i pet this angel and they were like yeah of course and i crouched down and Jonathan ran into my arms and almost tripped over his puppy feet it was 12/10

TODAY a german shepherd named london grabbed one of our lanterns off the shelf and was carrying it around and the owner was like, “london no, we’re not getting that” and gave him the merchandise she was buying instead and he carried it to me and dropped it on the counter at my register and i could have cried 

B. Y. E

*reads all of this in Linda Belcher’s voice*

Let him out