This Is The Best Day Ever

well other than that mrs. kennedy how was the drive

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

Scooby-Doo is a dog who can talk, which is amazing, and he largely uses his powers of speech to communicate how scared he is of ghosts and monsters, and basically the only thing his owners do is drive him around the country putting him inside various haunted houses and such. I wish I could take Scooby-Doo aside, I want to say to him, these people are not your friends.

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

Knuckle tattoos that just say “HAND” and “HAND.”