what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

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what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

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i get so freaked out by like. pictures of really big rope
I’d like to say that’s normal but I’m a frayed knot
i’m so fucking annoyed at this, just for that you don’t get photos of the rope
i changed my mind, this is just too horrifying not to share
it’s called a Hawser and is the thick cable or rope used for towing/mooring a ship
in conclusion, i have nightmares beyond description
NO it would NOT be cool
well i fucken disagree
@scumrunner do you have any cursed facts about hawsers to share ?
As a fiber nerd, i am personally very enthusiastic about them….
Ohhohohoho DO I EVER. Meet the “snapback zone,” not an area with cool hats, but instead the unintuitive range at which a hawser can kill you if it breaks under tension.
What if we kissed in the snap-back zone? 😳 😳 😳
I don’t think you guys understand how much force this is, a tow rope used to move a 20 foot boat snaps under tension with enough force to dent metal, shatter glass and seriously injure anyone in its way. A Hawser on the other hand… Well I’ve seen a concrete pier with a chuck the size of a sedan ripped out of it by a line failure, and anecdotally, I’ve heard of a 2 ton heavy cargo forklift being skidded sideways, then knocked over. These lines snap with enough force to noticably dent the hull armor of navy ships.
This is a line designed to hold in place a moving object that can be easily in excess of 10000 tons. AND THEY CAN BREAK FROM THAT TENSION ALONE.
THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING RUBBER BANDS FROM HELL.
Nope Rope
NOPE ROPE
I’m once again reminded of its much smaller cousin, the haywire.
You’ve heard of the term, “Going haywire,” right? Ever spared a thought to why that term exists?
See, time was there was a prototype automatic hay-baler. But this was in that magic period juuust before we really got into standardized sizes. So calibration of the machine was handled manually - a mix of guessing and learning from the results of guessing. If you’ve read Raising Steam by Sir Terry Pratchett you know that many people don’t get to learn from the results of their own guesses, due to being dead.
A poorly calibrated hay-baler had the mechanical strength to smush the hay into a tight bundle, wrap the wire around it, and tie that wire off to maintain the bale’s form. But the pressure of the over-packed hay was a constant outward force. Each bale made by an over-tight baler was potential energy in physical form. We have a word for “potential energy in physical form” and that word is “bomb.”
So sometimes, a man would toss a hay bale and it would land with a twang and the man who’d been reaching down to pick it up where it landed was dead.
And that is what “haywire” means.
oh nice. i knew hay bales occasionally spontaneously combust, didn’t know they used to have an explosion factor too
I am learning multiple things today
Normally I’d expect wet plant matter to be less likely to go up in flames, but not hay bales! Those pesky bacteria really like to party in damp conditions. And by party I mean “create heat.”
photosbylorna coming THROUGH

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cannibal chappell roan: you can put a hundred boys in jars
vehicular manslaughter chappell roan: you can hit a hundred boys with cars
medieval torturer chappell roan: you can coat a hundred boys in tar
Feels like a bad idea maybe

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I like to imagine hoofed fingers having rubbery fingertip-like pads
OP turned off reblogs but I need this on my blog. Sorry you had to learn about bean removal like this.
much like a beautiful horse i like salt and roaming freely

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Thank god I saved this from gayporntattoos before it got deleted