just a little rat

more people should be ungodly obsessed with john mitchell from being human. he's a beautiful emo irish vampire with the worst fashion sense in the world. he's killed so many people but he feels so so so bad about it. he is so absolutely cringefail he gets roasted by children on the street and actually gets annoyed. he fought in WWI. he was in casablanca but you can't see him because he doesn't show up on film. he is in recovery for addiction (blood) and keeps relapsing (murder). he loves the real hustle and he's LITERALLY doing the washing up.

inside 2007 really be like: live fetus reaction! and you expect me not to laugh at least a little bit?

i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

tattoos i mean. i’m not like, taking a couple of invertebrates out on the town

why not

Why not

a really key part of any healthy relationships is nonsexual biting. it’s really important to just bite each other sometimes. it will keep your relationship alive biting is the stuff love is made of

the way I've not seen NEARLY as many posts or memes about the second assassination attempt is so fucking funny like yeah just wake us up when someone succeeds

having a cat is great. there's a small little animal wandering around. effervescent

EATING MY CHARGER

I relate to the alien movies becauye that also happened to me

Did they stop quartering people cuz they realized all it did was create four of the guy they were trying to kill

posts from the timeline where starfish are the dominant civilization

man for a country that loves its guns the lot of you cant aim for shit