Results of being around the Human Race

I would hate to live near Magneto, because what if he snatches my piercings out because his man won't text him back

Is your shit fake?

Then magneto can't snatch shit nigga. Real gold, silver, and platinum are not ferromagnetic therefore he can't touch you.

Welp. Maybe I was also a child left behind.

this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years

you’re right, that’s significantly less weird

i bless the bonnie over africa

The bonnie is in geosychronous orbit, thus over all the Earth’s bodies of water

the bonnie is merely moving very fast, perhaps at hypersonic velocity, relative to the singer

World Heritage Post

why the hell is this blog so fucking popular

read mye tips 🪱

Can you please just have an ounce of shrimpathy?

One side has monkeys and tigers and elephants and capybaras, the other? Squirrels and deer

Have you seen a moose, megafauna are cool.

why does my future depend on me i dont like this

I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

Eh. Is alive enough.

Obligatory truck I don’t trust reblog