why does my future depend on me i dont like this

im beginning to say my goodbyes, it is almost time to go now 

i feel like i have been lost for so long

this hurts so much more than i can say 

i dont want to be the one that you run to when you got nowhere else to go when you need some love

my only wish is to die

i overreact to everything

my traumas changed me

i cant find the effort to do something or strive for something, i too need things that go well without effort

suddenly all the songs were about you 

i spent the whole day feeling terrible

pain changes you

im close to death trying to heal, but it hurts so bad you cant see it

im a nightmare, youre no different 

i will never let anyone know what's going on inside me

sometimes you just gotta forget your own existence 

everyday i feel myself getting worse yet do nothing about it