why does my future depend on me i dont like this

im filled with anxiety

i dont like to blame me or blame anything, cause every tiny dust of the reasons spiral in my head making me go numb every day

i crave you name in my blood, now i want more of this, so i live in dream of you

sometimes it feels like i did die and now im rotting 

heavy from the hurt inside my veins

the elephant in the room

people can see me if they want to, or they can't, i have always wondered what its like to walk in a crowd, at peace with yourself and in step with the herd, what it feels like to have no one turn around and stare at you or expect you to do something stupid or crazy

im too young to feel so old 

im a walking corpse

i feel stuck, i dont know what to do, im living aimlessly, im overwhelmed by everything, it's disgusting

when you think about the objects in the sky, such as the stars, dont the issues in our lives seem so unimportant?

because were all going to die someday, i just want to be prepared, thats all

oh what a bad day, lets make it worse 

how do i stop it 

no one can pull me out from this suffocating feeling of loneliness