why does my future depend on me i dont like this

my traumas changed me

i cant find the effort to do something or strive for something, i too need things that go well without effort

suddenly all the songs were about you 

i spent the whole day feeling terrible

pain changes you

im close to death trying to heal, but it hurts so bad you cant see it

im a nightmare, youre no different 

i will never let anyone know what's going on inside me

sometimes you just gotta forget your own existence 

everyday i feel myself getting worse yet do nothing about it 

im bored to death

all it takes is one song to bring back thousand memories 

how do i kill these thoughts, before they kill me

i want all my memories to disappear

i want to tell everyone about this secret world i carry inside me

my soul is sick, my brain is sick