everybody neeeeeds to go read this new yorker cartoon article with jacob tierney!!!!! it's so good
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everybody neeeeeds to go read this new yorker cartoon article with jacob tierney!!!!! it's so good

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Cameron Winter voice: auauaaaaaaAaAaAaAaAAAAAAAAAĂĂĂĂĂĂĂ
I think a juicy dynamic and one I think we as a Fandom should dig deeper into is the fact that metros didnt actually have serious issues with Shane pre-coming out. Thats their boy, and their captain, and they love him. They are his ride or die, thats Hollzy, he led us to 3 Stanley cups. Shane was a great captian and great leader, ilyas just better in this regard. Doesn't mean he was floundering and incapable of being a leader. He was very capable and his 3 cups prove it. However being near him once he comes out and especially post fanmail he becomes a very loud threat to the metros masculinity by association and therefore must be cast out.
Masculinity is performative and because it is so nebulous and changing you are constantly have to re-assert it over and over again. And once you are deemed to no longer have it, it is almost impossible to get it back. (Please go watch Dr. Shawn's hot takes with citations on this concept). To associate with an openly gay man in their field is to draw into question their masculinity.
As a result of this, to preserve their masculinity, they throw Shane, a guy they were friends with, a man they respected, under the bus to save face. It feels so out of nowhere because it is, becuase this is how homophobia and misogyny works. After the dust of the fanmail video and tripgate settles, the metros all have to deal with the guilt of what they did and the friend they lost. Some will deflect, some will probably never realize or acknowledge what they did, some will do the work, sit in the guilt, and realize their cowardice.
I Love Geese
I kinda feel like by nerfing Ilya, the fandom is doing a great disservice to Shaneâs biggest reason for being attracted to Ilya.
Ilya beat Shane at the draft by coming first. Ilya won the Stanly Cup before Shane.
Fucking hell, Ilyaâs team beat Shaneâs and qualified for the second round of playoffs, after almost three years of continues embarrassing loses against Montreal.
Shane is obsessed with Ilya because he is the only hockey player in the entire league who can actually beat him. It might not be obvious but Shane is a crazy fan of Ilya as much Ilya is of him.
And yes, Shane is with someone who is as good as him. Otherwise, he wouldnât have been with Ilya in the first place.
Brilliant addition

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All the love to all the fanfic writers in this fandom, but sometimes I get pulled out of a fic because Iâm so intensely hit with the thought of âthis author has never witnessed the all consuming black hole that is the stomach of a young male athleteâ Iâm telling you right now Shane is not performing at the level he is by restricting his intake to like 2000 calories. The meals may be bland and repetitive but heâs definitely eating AT LEAST a pound of chicken a day
Ilya is ordering two medium pizzas and eating both of them in one sitting. Heâs slurping up 5 McGriddles like a vacuum and then two hours later heâs hungry again. He is a weapon of mass destruction on the munchies. And they both can ABSOLUTELY eat 4 burgers
i love how heated rivalry shows more primal, visceral parts of sex and being attracted to your partner. i love that shane loves rubbing his face on ilya's dick and huffing it through his pants. i love them mashing their mouths together when they can barely kiss, just breathing in each other's faces. i love them looking down at their bodies while they fuck, ilya especially being fixated on seeing where they're connected and what their bodies are doing. i love ilya being beet red vein in his temple throbbing seeing god while he's inside shane. i love that the chemistry and the attraction can be animalistic. i love that it isn't watered down.
Do i write a fic where shane adopts a scrungy kitten and Ilya begins to hate it cus of its seemingly psychopathic tendencies that are just normal cat behaviors?
this came to me in a dream. I'm so sorry
can we stop pretending that shane lectures ilya for drawing penalties đ§ like it really is ok that ppl in the fandom don't watch hockey i've said that a million times, but like. drawing penalties has a skill to it, it can be extremely strategic, just bc ilyas playing style is different than shane's doesn't mean shane can't appreciate it (or that he's not MORE than smart enough to understand it), he's not ilyas naggy "bitch" wife please.. đŠ

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(15. Smile, 1,656 words)Â @hollanovmicrofic
While there are countless things to love about Ilya, Shane always circles back to something simple: his smile. There are so many different versions of this that he canât hold them all in the palms of his hands, so many smiles that heâs seen over the years that are his favorites for different reasons. The pull of Ilyaâs lips into a smirk, the soft hidden quirk when heâs thinking about sex, the corner tugging up when heâs about to chirp back at someone on the ice mixed with the cerulean amusement of his eyes, the unabashed boyish grin when heâs excited about somethingâwhen he feels completely relaxed and able to be himself.Â
Lately, though, Shane thinks his favorites are when Ilya is looking at their son.Â
â
"mulder ruined scully's life" ice cold take. scully ruined her own life because she was bored and it made her happy. and it's why she's top 10 characters ever written
happy birthday ilya rozanov, here is a very silly little moodboard made in your honor <3
(last night i got really into making random moodboards out of only pictures found on my pinterest home page, completely 100% inspired by leo @ilyasmole and all his wonderful moodboards-- i had SO much fun and made this guy without even remembering it was ilya's birthday today. and then i DID remember and it was too perfect not to post. happy birthday ilyaaaa)
we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback
said it before but i'll say it again, love love LOVE that the ppl said to b the smartest abt hockey, more than even ilya or shane, r both women. & like. one's a glamorous honorary model party girl w her own business. the other is a mother & a top notch strategist whose husband cooks dinner every time. AND WE ALL CHEERED

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Ilya's designated spot on the couch is actually Shane's lap. That is Shane Hollander's baby and he is treated as such. Send tweet.
obviously ilyaâs 33rd birthday is going to be really hard for him and I think by this point he and Shane have been married and living together for a couple of years and Shane has seen him on good days and bad days and heâs trying to be upfront about how this is not going to be a good day but shaneâs doing that thing where heâs like âbabe weâve got this. Together.â which is all fine and dandy but ilya doesnât want to have this he doesnât want to be shaneâs version of fine which oftentimes is just smiling and nothing else. he wants to be blowing out his birthday candles with his mama he wants to give her a hug as she tells him its a hard year but itâll be alright that heâll get through it he wants one of her silly presents that she used to leave on his bed so it would be the last thing heâd get on his birthday to make up for any stuffiness that he had to suffer with his father he wants the honey cake that she used to get him from the bakery around the corner thatâs was closed the last time he went to moscow and god he wants to go back to moscow he wants to be where he grew up and for a moment be eleven and ten and eight and five and two but thatâs not going to happen and its not shaneâs fault that shaneâs not getting it but the fact of the matter is that shane doesnât get it. So on the morning of his birthday he gets up before shane which is only possible because shane sleeps til 7 when theyre at the cottage and goes for a run and then stops down by the dock and smokes three cigarettes in a row and the water looks so peaceful and running shorts are basically swim trunks so he jumps in and just floats there and thinks about how heâll be older than his mama ever got to be soon and how heâs older than he ever thought heâd be and he doesnât really know how to feel about either of those facts and then he hears shaneâs voice at the end of the dock saying happy birthday and ilya yells out that hollander should join him for a swim and instead of rolling his eyes or mentioning the ashtray with three very obviously fresh butts he just goes okay and he doesnât even bother to fold his sweats heâs strips down to his boxers and jumps in and is on ilya and gives him a little kiss before saying that he got them breakfast and itâll be getting cold and ilyaâs like oh you made us breakfast? And shanes like no i got us macdonalds and then heâs pulling ilya back towards the dock and of course he brought them towels cause he was going to jump in the whole time cause he knew ilya would ask and maybes its not moscow and itâll never be moscow again but maybe this can be okay too.