*kiss kiss* fall in love

🍦 General Audiences 🍦

From Russia, With Love

Established Relationship, Ilya's Extended Family, Grief, Comfort ✅ Ch 1/1 - 2.7k words Ilya receives a suspicious box from Russia, sent to the Irina Foundation PO box. Inside is a letter from someone he has not seen in over half his life and artifacts from a past he barely knew existed.

Set for the Stage

Established Relationship, Slide of Life, Fatherhood ✅ Ch 1/1 - 2.1k words Shane and Ilya's son discovers a passion for theater, and the director thinks his talents can take him far. Shane knows just what to do next: make a 10 year plan. However, Ilya is apprehensive to Shane's Hollywood dreams for their son and reveals that maybe pro hockey player wasn't always his dream career.

Just a Name

Fluff, Comfort No Hurt, Pickles ✅ Ch 1/1 - 1.1k words Ilya has filled out the paperwork to officially become Ilya Hollander. Both men are pleased, but Shane realizes that something is off when they get the change confirmation. Ilya tries to minimize what he's done, but Shane has a way of getting him to admit the truth.

Memorial

Angst, Domestic Fluff ✅ Ch 1/1 - 960 words Shane gifts Ilya a token of remembrance for his mother.

Lesson One: Don't Be Quick To Judge

Childhood Friends AU, Fluff ✅ Ch 1/1 - 2.5k words At Shane's first hockey lesson, David Hollander meets and connects with Irina Rozanova. However, an incident occurs on the ice fractures a budding relationship between the two families. Despite their initial assumptions, Ilya may not actually be the bad kid David and Yuna thought he was.

🍕 Teen+ 🍕

You Are Not Who You Think You Are 🧪

Original Children of Shane and Ilya, Referenced Child Abuse and Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending ✅ Ch 1/1 - 2.4k words Being a parent to a toddler is hard. When Ilya has a tough day and snaps at his daughter, he runs, concluding that he is not fit to be a parent. Shane finds him and persuades him to come home, but it's David who reveals his own past and makes Ilya realize that the feelings he's trying to evade don't make him a bad father.

Love, Imitation

Rose Landry, Fake Dating, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy ✒️ Ch 1/2 - 2.2k words Shane invites Rose to the cottage for a long weekend. Shane and Rose catch up, trading stories and reminiscing. When they begin to discuss their past relationship, Ilya realizes that they did not have the serious romance which ate him alive. This leads to their first true argument, like, ever.

Return from the Wild

Established Relationship, Aged Up Characters, Fatherhood ✅ Ch 1/1 - 1.3k words Ilya returns from a camping and hiking trip with his son, Charlie, and some other father-son scouting duos. Ilya may or may not be cut out to be a camping guy, but Shane shows him the love he deserves for going so far out of his comfort zone for their son.

⚔️Awakening

Skyrim AU, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Forced Proximity ✒️ Ch 1/3 - 1.9k words Skilled mercenary Shane Hollander is called upon by Jarl Elisif to investigate strange sightings at Wolfskull Cave. Least expected of all, he must work with petulant mercenary Ilya Rozanov to complete the task. Preventing a necromantic ritual is easy work compared to preventing lustful thoughts from hindering the quest at hand.

Jet Lagged

Established Relationship, Fluff ✅ Ch 1/1 - 900 words Ilya returns to Shane's cottage after a long trip from Russia. The night takes an unexpected turn when Ilya's flight schedule finally catches up with him. Luckily, Shane will always find a way to get plans back on track.

🍷 Mature 🍷

Coming soon...

🍾 Explicit 🍾

Ilya looked down. "Oh, I lost bet with the Raiders and had to get full Brazilian wax. Every hair from my belly button to tailbone is gone. But do not worry, Hollander. I can still cum. Now suck my cock."

Shane shook his head in disbelief. He backed away from Ilya, unable to cope with the horrible sight before of him. Ilya's bare public bone was on full display for the first time since puberty, and Shane could not bring himself to suck Ilya's cock the wonderful sensation of shoving his nose into Ilya's pubes.

"Rozanov... I feel very ill," Shane mumbled as he started to get light headed.

"Ill? Why are you ill?"

Shane dragged himself to the couch in his hotel room and laid himself across it. His breathing was becoming shallower, his pulse weaker, his complexion wanner.

Ilya pulled up his Rick Owens sweatpants and Calvin Klein boxers. He knelt beside Shane who was getting sicker and sicker by the moment. Ilya new he needed to get Shane to the emergency room fast.

After driving like he was auditioning for a the Fast and the Furious movie in the city where they were, Ilya carried Shane through the doors of a hospital emergency room. Shane's body was so light and frail, and he kept murmuring words Ilya could not understand.

"Help!" Ilya yelled. "I need a doctor! Hollander is dying!"

A very attractive but not overly sexy doctor and an equally attractive nurse ran to Ilya's aid. Ilya gracefully placed Shane on the gurney, and the medical staff hooked tubes and monitors up to Shane as fast as a pit crew.

"Take him to the ICU!" The doctor commanded. "We need to figure out why this man is dying!"

Ilya ran alongside the doctors and nurses to a corner room where Shane was placed onto the bed. Ilya held Shane's hand as the nurses began taking vitals and doing other necessary medical things.

"Doctor, what is wrong with Hollander? He was fine just minutes ago!"

The hot doctor furrowed his brow. "I have not seen such rapid deterioration in a long time, especially for a healthy young man. What were you doing before Hollander began wasting away?"

"I played hockey, went to his hotel, and he was going to suck my dick. Then this!"

"I see, I see..." The doctor removed his glasses. "Is your dick so large and beautiful that it scared Hollander?"

"No, he has seen my dick many times, and his dick is equally as large and beautiful. He would not be scared."

The doctor put his glasses back on. "Have you changed your dick at all?"

"I did lose a bet and had to wax my bush- actually, it was a Brazilian, so all of my hair is gone."

The doctor dramatically took his glasses of. "My God... this is the worst I've ever seen."

"What? What is wrong with Hollander?"

"Hollander is suffering from a severe case of sudden hypodasus anhedonia."

"Hypo- anhe- what?"

"Sudden hypodasus anhedonia, or bush to bald depression."

Ilya gasped. "That can't be!"

"Unfortunately, there is no other explanation. Typically, we see this with new couples around Valentine's Day. One partner, usually a woman, will get a bikini wax in an attempt to be sexy and romantic, but the other partner is a closeted bush lover, so the sudden shift from bush to bald sends them into a deep depression."

Ilya sank into a chair that happened to be there. "This is all my fault..." He squeezed Shane's hand and wept. "I can't let you die. Hollander!"

"We need to move fast. At this rate, he won't last the night without bush."

"What can we do?"

"Usually, I tell patients to use hair growth serum to grow back their bush, but that won't work." The doctor put his glasses on and pushed them up the bridge of his nose. "However, there is something we can try."

"Anything, doctor! Anything for my Hollander!"

"I developed a experimental bush transplant surgery for cases just like this."

Ilya jumped from his chair. "All I need is an experimental surgery to save Hollander? I will do it!"

The doctor took off his glasses. "We can do it but..." He put his glasses on so he could dramatically take them off again. "I've never performed the surgery successfully. Often, the bush is rejected."

Ilya was so anxious he thought he'd puke. "We need to try! We need to try for my Hollander!"

"Prep a surgery room for surgery!" The doctor commanded. "We are doing surgery!"

"But doctor-" Ilya grabbed the doctor's arm before the doctor could leave. "Where will the bush come from?"

"Leave that to me." The doctor put a comforting hand on Ilya's hand. "Go to Hollander, tell him everything will be okay."

Ilya threw himself at Shane's side. "Everything will be okay, Hollander! I am getting a bush transplant, and you will be saved."

"He must really love bush," one nurse commented as Ilya left to prepare for surgery.

"Must really love that bush in particular," the other nurse replied. "Sad to see such reckless behavior leading to such disaster."

Ilya laid on the operating table, ready for the bush transplant. All of the medical staff gathered around him. They were just as attractive in their surgery attire as their regular scrubs.

"Are you ready, Mr Rozanov?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, but doctor," Ilya fought back tears, "if I don't make it, tell Hollander I loved him, and he deserves a man with twice the bush I ever had."

The next moment, Ilya was waking up from surgery. The room was fuzzy, Ilya's head hurt, and the first person he thought of was Shane.

"Hollander?" He groaned, searching for his love.

"Rozanov, you're away," the doctor said. "I'm glad to see that the anesthesia is wearing off shockingly fast."

"Where is Hollander?" Ilya replied. "I need Hollander."

"He is in his room, but the surgery was a success! You have a bush!"

Ilya smiled so widely. "Wow, I have a new bush! I can't believe it!"

As the doctor began to tell Ilya how successful the surgery truly was, a nurse wheeled another patient into Ilya's room. Ilya turned to look at the patient.

"Cliff Marleau? My forward wing and best friend aside from the love of my life Shane Hollander? What are you doing here?"

"Heh, who do you think gave you the bush?"

Tears filled Ilya's eyes. "Wow Marleau, you're such an amazing man. I know how much your bush meant to you. I wish I could kiss you."

"Thanks, Rozanov. Unfortunately, my internalized homophobia prevents me from having any sort of intimate contact with men outside of a sports setting. It also prevents me from exploring my repressed bisexuality that I still need to fully accept. That's why I never let you know what porn I watch."

"Wow Marleau, you're being so vulnerable, but that is a little sad. Also, it is not surprising because the whole team knows you stare at our dicks in the showers."

"Rozanov!" A nurse yelled as she entered the room. "He's crashing! We need your bush!"

"Goodbye Marleau!" Ilya cried as he rushed from the recovery room. "Thank you for your bush!"

"You're welcome!" Cliff called back. "Use it only for good!"

Shane was surrounded by clinical stuff as monitors flashed and buzzers buzzed.

"Start compressions!" One nurse yelled.

"We need to intubate!" Another called.

"His BP is... I can't even get a BP because he has wasted away so much! Where's that bush!?"

"It's right here." Ilya stepped forward to Shane's bedside, and all of the nurses stepped back. Ilya pulled on the neck of his gown, and the ties in the back perfectly untied. He threw the gown on the floor and revealed his nude body to Shane. But most importantly, Ilya's new bush was directly at Shane's eyelevel.

"My darling, Shane," Ilya whispered as he gently grasped Shane's hand. "I know what will heal you. Feel my bush."

Ilya guided Shane's hand to the new rug of hair at the base of his cock. Shane's hand was limp at first, but with only a few seconds of help from Ilya, Shane could hold his own hand up and feel the hair.

Shane's eyes fluttered open weakly. "B... bush?"

A single tear fell down Ilya's cheek. "Shane, you're okay..."

"How..." Shane's voice was strained. "How... bush?"

"Marleau gave me his bush," Ilya explained.

Shane ran his fingers through Ilya's bush. "Cliff Marleau, your forward wing and best friend aside from me?"

"Yes, that Cliff Marleau."

"He is such a good friend."

"Hollander, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked when he entered the room. The smiled and took off his glasses when he saw Shane stroking Ilya's bush with gentle passion. "It seems your bush to bald depression is subsiding."

"Will we be able to go home tonight, doctor?" Ilya asked.

"Unfortunately, no. Hollander should stay overnight. He is still dehydrated and his blood pressure is low. You will need to stay with him so he can have maximum bush exposure and to make sure you and Shane accept the replacement bush."

"What of Marleau?" Shane asked.

"He will also need to remain here for monitoring."

"When will his bush return?" Ilya asked, genuinely concerned for his friend.

"Could be 6-12 months," the doctor replied. "Rozanov, your natural bush will return in about 6 weeks, and the one Marleau donated will fall out over that time. Marleau's recovery is much longer, but I am confident he will regain the full bushiness of his bush. If it wasn't for the power of your friendship with Marleau, the surgery would have been a failure."

Shane and Ilya smiled lovingly at each other.

"Hollander, I'm sorry I waxed my bush. I didn't realize how much it meant to you."

"I accept your apology, Rozanov. Thank you for risking your life for a bush transplant. I just wish there was a way to properly thank Marleau."

"Well, in a few years when he finally reconciles with his bisexuality, we might be able to do something nice for him."