“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but by saving what we love.”

So I’ve been an emotional, Star Wars-driven wreck for the past two years—ever since Kylo Ren and Rey first appeared on screen. Even still The Last Jedi was like a bucket of cold water on my system. When I realized just how sexual the film was—that I was basically getting everything I’d wanted and more—I couldn’t breathe. Because holy s**t. Salt gods preserve us, they’re really going there. Give me some time to prepare myself *fumbling with pill bottle,* give me some time, I’m not ready *downing pills,* I’m not ready at all—

(Trust me, I love the film. I’m just in a state of shock at how ballsy it is.)

The Last Jedi is the most intelligent, multi-layered Star Wars movie to-date. It’s also my favorite out of the franchise, and with its creation Lucasfilm has finally won me over. After being gifted not once but twice with amazing stories and complex characters, I owe it to the filmmakers to say “you know what. You’re on top of this. I’ll wait to see how the story shapes up.” So this essay will be a little less critical than normal. But I’m still going to talk about what I saw.

For those of you who have followed this blog since the beginning, you’ll know it’s been awhile since I’ve written any “meta.” I’m an illustrator by trade, a fiction writer by night. Academic essays are not my natural element, which is why I tend to shitpost ad nauseum whenever someone leaves me too close to a keyboard. That said, in the days right after The Force Awakens I meta’d a lot. My most widely circulated essays were:

Forgiveness Hurts: Redemption Arcs and why you should be prepared for pain

Death and the Maiden: How Reylo will be canon (but not in the way you’re hoping)

My One and Only, or why Force Bonds are so important, and

Rey is (probably) not a Skywalker

This work has aged in its technical execution over the past couple years, but I still feel pretty good about it. The writing was genuine and from the heart. Like many who saw the same things as I did on screen, I find it extremely validating to have our shared predictions proven correct. It’s such a weight off my shoulders to see that no, we weren’t imagining stuff, and yes, we can enjoy the dynamic between Kylo Ren and Rey in this way, in canon. After two years of constant harassment over a fictional “ship,” it’s a victory. I’ll never forget how we were treated. But I digress.

After writing the bulk of my meta post-Force Awakens, I didn’t feel like pumping out any more essays until I saw The Last Jedi. Then the bug bit and the urge came upon me again. The Force Awakens showed us what kind of dynamic would arise—namely “Reylo,” or a romantic relationship between Kylo Ren and Rey. The Last Jedi showed us where this dynamic will head. We’ve evolved from a Death and the Maiden motif to one that clearly depicts an Usurper and Holy Mother, which… wow. That dynamic has a lot of connotations associated with it, and it was not the film I was expecting to get. I’m still happy because it’s being depicted well, but Jesus its bold as f**k.

Additionally, to those of you who have been predicting since The Force Awakens that we’re going to get Anakin and Padme’s romance in reverse (“Show me, grandfather, and I will finish what you started,” Kylo repeats to the ghosts of his past, desperately wishing to do better):

^The other proposal for galactic domination. (external source)

Congrats. I’m pretty sure you’ll get your wish.

Of course this story is not “the same as […] Han and Leia,” as Rian Johnson assured the skeptics. The Sequel Trilogy is not inspired by them. The Last Jedi is deeper, mythic, and based around healing psychic wounds in the Force, caused by everyone’s favorite sand-hating hot mess.

A few housekeeping things that I want to get out of the way before I begin: this essay will be image heavy, and it currently clocks in at over 15,000 words. Yes, 15,000. Please for the love of Crait do not open it on tumblr’s mobile app, you will break it. A giant thank you to @ashesforfoxes for beta’ing, and a special shout out to @pixelrey for the images/gifs. I also want to say thank you to @ugnaught77. Your help in tracking down and compiling the visual references/videos was invaluable. Congrats on your Anidala predictions.

Alright, here we go: an essay even longer than Death and the Maiden. I hope you’re all ready for a Force-bonded Oedipus complex, because… welp…

^ The other hot mess.

See the rest of the meta below the jump.

Rey: Ben?

Kylo:

Rey: Ben?

Kylo:

Rey: Ben?

Kylo:

I liked Rose and Finn! But I also really liked Poe and Finn and this was my reaction low-key every time they grabbed each other:

So then I decided in my mind that they’d just be in a poly relationship?

And I tried not to be too underwhelmed by the Rose and Finn “kiss” but also thought it was a bit much when she said you protect the things you love (I’m paraphrasing obviously) because she met Finn five minutes ago? But then considered that she viewed Finn as a hero and although she clearly views him romantically, that statement may not even refer to a romantic sort of love but more so admiration.

Kylo and Rey … I mean I think they were undoubtedly erotic and I don’t mean pornographically, it’s very intimate but it’s intimacy through sensuality, kind of like a slow-burn passion rooted in the narrative of them being balances of each other and you need chemistry to pull that off so yes, they have it, it doesn’t make me crazy like a lot of people on my dashboard, I was way more into the tiny moments between Finn and Poe and Finn and Rose but the chemistry is there, it has to be for their entire storyline to work so basically it was like my reactions:

Finn and Poe:

Finn and Rose:

Kylo and Rey:

You guys…I’m…

Kylo to Kylo: become the Supreme Leader

kylo: *takes off shirt*

Me:

also me: 

i’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like

AND I AM DESTRAUGHT THAT WE NEVER GET TO KNOW IF KURTBASTIAN HAPPENS AND I WANT TO READ THE SEX RIGHT NOW

SEBASTIAN NEEDS TO SEX KURT IN THAT BEACH HOUSE RIGHT NOW!