bing bong

I think rent should be $4 a month

like hey landlord, thanks for letting me stay at your place. go get yourself a snack this month

oh a thousand? you want a thousand? that's too many snacks babygirl

"download the app to continue!" what if I kill you

Go a little fart

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

When I was “I want him” about a male character im not saying I wanna fuck him. I want him like a spoiled little girl wants a pony, I want to him so I can put him on my shelf for safekeeping, I want him like a good hearty stew on a winter’s evening, I want to put him in a jar and shake it.

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?