Gay & Tired @scientistknife - Tumblr Blog

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

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verba-amoris

deslizada

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

lesbianshepard

on my "don't walk to metlife" post I kept seeing people say that drivers would "bergentruck" pedestrians on the turnpike and it turns out that that's a reference to an Undertale meme where a character purposefully runs over people, but the portion of the jersey turnpike that goes to metlife is bergen county, and I had just instantly accepted that there was a term specifically referring to jersey drivers from there. I didn't even question it. Neither would you, if you had ever driven there.

lesbianshepard

posters: if you try to walk on the jersey turnpike they will bergentruck you without hesitation.

me, unfamiliar with undertale memes, but familiar with driving through north jersey: fuckin yeah they will.

raylangivins

thadymiller

Text: congrats on the failure babe, most people don't even try

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only-cat-memes

fairy25

Dare I say mood

fagsex

antigoneprogone

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

powerburial

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artsekey

I was telling my friends that for years I couldn’t take Star Wars seriously because “Darth Vader looked so stupid under the helmet”, and they were confused so they asked me what I thought he looked like. I proceeded to describe a purple, alien-skinned thing with horns all over its bald scalp. They informed me that was not, in fact, what Darth Vader looked like, and so I did a deep dive.

This lead me to realize that I conflated the face of Darth Vader with the face of a toy featured prominently in commercials around the time when I was a kid, so allow me to introduce you to what I thought Darth Vader looked like for 25+ years of my life:

Darth Boo-Bah.

tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot

doffy2

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

doffy2

63

This is one of your worst posts yet man

textposttropes

Poverty Food

Visual Innuendo

doffy2

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

homunculus-argument

"Problematic height gap" was a concept made up by people who have never seen the kind of short people who go out to interact with the public. Those fucking gnomes fear nothing. If they're at the exact right height to bite you in the nuts, they will.

And insanely tall people come in two categories: If they're merely tall, and not large, they're just skittish fragile giraffes. The most dangerous thing they can do to you is stand up too fast, faint because their blood pressure dropped, and hit you on the way down like a felled tree.

The tall people who are also large are mostly chill in my experience. Sure some of them must be assholes just out of statistical inevitability, but it takes some edge out of life knowing that someone could try to hit you with a tank and all they're going to find out is whether or not a Leopard 2A7 has a crumple zone. And most importantly they are never tactically prepared for getting bit in the nuts.

were--ralph

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ozempicofficial

pitbolshevik

finally watching obsession i cant wait to root for this guy's grisly demise

pitbolshevik

update: i want this guy to kill himself for real

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