my love has concrete feet

getting one of my friends to housesit and hes like Aw man dude don't worry just enjoy your vacation and the moment I close the door to get in my taxi he tweets "i love smoking cigarettes indoors"

i need to stand ankle deep in a creek about this

i am first and foremost a lover. secondarily and mostly for the bit i am also a hater

Calling any object I dislike debris regardless of size or purpose

so it’s the month of may huh?…well if you replaced the ‘m’ in may with ‘g’ well…you ‘may’ be surprised at what you find 😏😏

gonth

wait

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

not to sound like a medieval peasant or a catholic but i resent anti-carb propaganda so much like bread will never be evil it is holy it is divine it is one of life’s most simple yet decadent pleasures. love is stored in the bread

your bare minimum isn’t actually that bare or minimum. my dad once told me that there’s nothing in this world that’s easy and that’s true tbh. everything we do takes energy, time, and effort. even the little things. if you feel like you’re not doing enough please try to think about your circumstances and what’s currently available to you: chances are, there’s something that’s diverting or otherwise draining you. and to pull away from that and get something done regardless? well, i think that’s really admirable! please try to take pride in the things you do accomplish in a day, no matter how small or trifling you perceive them to be. you can’t be proud of your growth if you don’t notice where you already are!

no offense but this conversation was literally a major turning point in my life

fake drunkposting on tumblr circa 2013. people need to start doing that again

15 year olds were on here at 1am on a school night like igm sooo duuurnk,,,, ohgh..// ivbe never eben this sdrurnk befor ign my life... performance art

my digital footprint is a clown shoe I fear

noooo little german boy dont go into the drag show

oh mein gott this stage is full of kuntenserven