what's up

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

number of pwhl wives increasing exponentially we love to see it

i think this would result in several exciting new and innovative forms of long-term injury

i would amend 8. you cannot interact with the other football’s ball by the rules of your football, you can only interact with it by the rules of its football.

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

I can tell youre knitting with no love in your heart i can see the hateful intentions in every stitch.

it is like fucking spot the differences with you people

There's NOTHING homoerotic about my single-minded, pseudo-incestuous obsession with torturing my creator-father and robbing him of everything he ever loved.

Yes I murdered his fiancee. I’m his fiancee now.

Listen, there is no possible way to interpret me saying, “You are my creator, but I am your master,” as a sex thing. Ignore the leash I have him on. We’re not talking about the leash right now.

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

Fucking perfect. No notes.